right my wrongs

ive done allot of wrong feeding my addiction. I left my family and stole from friends for my next fix. but even though it was wrong why did it have to feel good? why cant I stop I don't want to do this anymore but I cant function without the drug. with each passing day I need more and more just to not feel. I hate what I have done and I hate this world, I go to bed every night hoping I don't wake up. its not right. but its all I know.

I found NA and now im clean it feels great, but now my emotions are back and I feel everything ive done smack me in the face. im trying to do good now I want to make things right. to stop from going back to the wrong I help others escape the horrid world of addiction. with each new member I feel a little better, saving a new life. but I stopped going to meetings and I no longer remember the consequences of my using.

im now back were I started its fun the first time but I have lost control again and now I cant stop. everything ive gotten for myself is gone. my bank account is empty and im back on the streets. my family doesn't want me back. can I ever right my wrongs? or is this just the endless cycle of my addiction?