Never Ending Journey

Never ending journey

There's nights where I pray the 15 minute ride takes 15 hours
Home seems like a battlefield so I cower
The rocking train is a surreal escape
It's the only way I can avoid my sealed fate
Three stops away from 86 now
Not enough time, still nothing clicks now
I'm running from my mind and away from the time
But once my mind starts to run I go under at the drop of a dime

Two stops from 86 now
Not enough time, still nothing clicks now
We're passing these metal supports to fast
My anxiety builds so on the train I try to be the last
My music silences the speed and the thoughts
It distracts the bleeding heart and creates clots
We're starting to emerge from the safe tunnels of darkness
My Chest pounds louder, a rip in my harness

One stop from 86 now
Not enough time, still nothing clicks now
I pretend like I have hours to go I spare my heart
But my surreal fantasy balloon's popped with a dart
I known my fate awaits but wait
I still have to walk a little
There's some hope I can stop being brittle
Just for a bit at least
The last stop will be my dreaded sheets
Time to hit the streets

I cherish every step so ill never forget
I take in everything, every cigarette
The gum polka dot floor is my death row
If you want to see a man suffer then stick around for the show
Every sleepy face is tattooed ill miss you all
Each step gets me closer, I pray I fall

My block is now under my feet
Each step is planned, so neat
I admire the dark ocean above
I hope I see one last amazement like a dove
But only the moon looks back at me
It's crying too, my heart is all it can see
That dreaded golden door knob waits to be turned
There's no avoiding fate, from my past I've learned
Up the blue carpeted stairs
I wish I could turn into a stain on this carpet, I wouldn't care
Why do I live in this hell, why isn't this fair
Goosebumps and numb, they're all standing, every hair

I breath in the muggy air of my home
I turn up the music on my phone
My never ending journey ended to quick
I think about heading back to the train just for kicks
But why suffer through the anxiety
Maybe I should cry my eyes out till I can't see
But my minds vision is 20/20
There's always an abundance of sadness, always plenty
Till we meet again journey
I know you'll always be there for me