War

Everything in life is a struggle.

On a day to day basis it's a tug of war between physicality and mentality.

Your mind is a battlefield and your thoughts are the masses. Pitted up one against another; conflicting, contradicting, inflicting...pain.

You want to be successful, you want to ''make it''. But at the end of the day you're left feeling worthless. No better than a piece of garbage left on the road side, or an unfortunate deer caught between a truck and the pavement. 

Your strategy is just to exist: to defend. You'll never make an offensive move, and your mind will be left, cluttered with what could have been. 

You've lost all your battles, and you're losing the war.

Get up and fight now, you need to settle the score.

You can do this, I know you can, because I was you once, and now I am living life. TRULY, living life. 

Take an offensive approach. Do what you want to do and don't take no for an answer. You need to persist. You need to get past this. You're a fighter. I know you are. You've got it in you, I can tell by those scars.

You will make it, you can win the war. Try a little harder, tug a little more.

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Inspiration climbs the bar with this one... the whole theme carries you as a reader to the end line:

You will make it,
you can win the war.
Try a little harder,
tug a little more.

I believe most of your sentences are a bit long... and the thought process is hindered in the read... the way you wrote this seems... as if this was a draft... and just how your words came out during the write... when you put them down on paper... just my opinion... narrow down the plot lines and this is a go...

[Archia]

"Your mind is a battlefield and your thoughts are the masses." I loved that line, it's got to be one of my favourite lines ever. I just loved what it meant and the way it was said. I thought that in this whole piece there was a really strong message and it was really good at the end for showing a motivational side.

[Michael G. Smith]

Good piece Ryun and good subject matter. Might I suggest that you break this down into smaller lines and stanzas to bring some smoother order and rhythm to this poem. to me it seems that you just jotted all your thoughts onto paper. I usually will reread my poem out loud and when I find a area I want to change i'll reread it again. I'm on to read more of your work...