Cigarette Thoughts

I watch the smoke curl up from the end of my cigarette
Drift off into the summer breeze
How I wish I could float away like that sometimes 
But here I sit in my head 
I feel my heart beat there instead 
Maybe later I'll get dressed 
Go out to my boyfriend
Let him hold me 
Maybe I'll cry 
There's a beauty I've found in being a woman 
There's not one thing that I have to be 
Sometimes I transcend across a million different dimensions 
Watch my tears fall as I laugh at my sorrow 
Knowing I'll feel differently tomorrow 
Not good or bad 
Or necessarily anything 
Just being, just existing 
Let that be enough for now 
In another life I think I would have existed in a small town 
Worked in the corner shop
Knowing the names of all the people that would come in 
Sometimes life doesn't have to mean anything 
I struggle with that 
There's a lot that I struggle for 
I've always felt like the type of girl who wanted more 
I know it would be easier if I didn't think so much 
Sit back, let my thoughts turn to dust 
I think of my cigarette smoke 
Long put out 
And wonder,
Is this really all that life's about?

Reviews

[Brad Dehler]

"Life doesnt have to mean anything", "Let that be enough for now". This is a true reflection of Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. I appreciate how you still challenge yourself at the end, unable or unwilling to settle with banality. Very good. thank you

[living lavender]

the calmness portrayed as you contemplate. truly stunning.
love the visual - i can smell the smoke as my own heart beats.

[yasmine]

I often find myself thinking the same thing. This was such a nice read.

[Matthew Kult]

Sorrowful contemplation, wandering mind seeking something more as everything seems so desolate. Hopefully the boyfriend finds you solace.

Great read.

With love

Matthew