Losing someone you're still in love with.

Losing someone you're still in love with.

It's the most painful feeling in the world, losing someone. Whether it be by changes in life's plan, ie: moving, break ups, or by the loss of life all together. It's never easy to say goodbye. There is no right way to feel, and nothing you or anybody else can say to change the fate of the situation. Losing someone sucks. They say it makes you stronger, but who doesn't hear this and at one point or another stop to think, "screw that."? This is the point I am at. I am wanting to keep something I once had, something I don't want to say goodbye to. My love. My best friend. My other half. 

The worst part of this mess I am in, is the fact that I put myself here. I keep racking my brain and think of all the little things I would do differently if I could only go back. The fact is, I can't. I am here. This is a part of this sometimes s****y yet always beautifully twisted life. I felt myself slipping away, and I didn't stop myself until it was too late. He was gone. Hell, I was gone. In a new apartment, making new friends. Our home is now nothing more than the empty shell of what used to be my safe place, where so many beautiful memories were made. "This is my life now," I keep telling myself. "This is my life, I am here for a reason." Yet I can't let go of my past. 

I've spent the last four years loving him unconditionally. And I did. I loved him with every piece of my heart and my soul. My pieces are shattered now, and I'm having trouble putting myself back together. So many pieces missing. All with him, forever. I know I need to create new pieces and continue this puzzle of life, but letting go completely is still in the realm of impossible for me. Losing someone is never easy, and losing someone you are still in love with is one of the hardest things to go through. 

Hold close the people that you love, and make smart choices. Compromise. Listen. Trust. Love can make the most rational to become irrational. Love can make the most sane feel insane. Love is hard, and love is work, but don't give up. Fight for what you love, because love is worth fighting for.