Darkness encompasses my soul

Darkness encompasses my soul. Squeezing out the last rays of light. Savagely destroying any hope my heart had dared to believe. I close my eyes in defeat. I can feel my body breaking. My hands tremble, my breaths shallow. Images flash across my mind, awakening old demons. I panic yet and oddly calm, I know the pain but it still scares me. I have fallen, I have been broken apart. I know I tried, I fought valiantly but it was not enough. My darkness has overcome me, suffocating my being. When I open my eyes, they no longer shine within my blue eyes, they are etched with black. No longer recognizable to those who know and love me. I smile, but darkness creeps along the edges, a sinister look. No one can see my darkness yet it hovers over my skin, constantly in touch with me. I appear normal, happy.  But darkness layers my skin and soul. Someone touches me and it soaks into my skin. Making me crawl in my own skin. The slightest critic opens the gate for the darkness to seep into my mind. It attaches onto the words and snakes up to my mind, twisting and construing the thoughts. Manifesting itself deeper in my mind. My darkness is always with me, I have fallen. My darkness comforts me with pain, has taught me to accept it to seek it out for mine and others protection. My darkness is my constant companion, it is my life line. It is all that I have left, I cannot reject it for then I will be nothing. My darkness is my savior as much as my demise. I am in a deadly compromise, I cannot release my darkness without losing myself. There is no escape from my own hell and pain. I have failed and fallen.