Storm

Is this what normal people think of when they're on the beach?

 

Standing on the beach in the hour of twilight,

Arms wide, palms open,

Thin white dress whipping around my body,

Hair flying,

Feet buried in sand bleached white as bone

In the stark light of the coming storm.

Dark waves crash like a beating pulse,

Only mine is so much faster - 

Can’t you hear it

In the shrieking

Of the wind?

Clouds roll in to fill the sky with shadows,

The dying light breaking through around the edges

With blinding, piercing brightness

And casting a lurid glow upon the shore.

 

Blood always looked darker on the sand.

 

The waves crash

And the water seethes

And the wind howls,

And I scream to join my voice

With the symphony of the storm.

Pure, raw, uncontrolled emotion

Pouring from my gaping mouth,

Eyes closed and arms rising

To match the shrieking pitch of the song.

Nothing ever felt so real,

So powerful, so terrible.

I sing with voice and body

As the storm rips me apart.

 

Agony is so poetic

Until the blade is sliding into your flesh

And you learn

That pain is fire

And steel is ice.

 

Now the water is salty

With the flavor of blood,

And I’m falling to my knees on the sand,

Tears streaming from my wild eyes

To stain the pulsing water red.

 

On the brink of my destruction -

Seize hold of me

And take my soul

Before it flies away with the wind.

Come to me

Before I die here

And take

My heart

By storm.

Author's Note

Um... not much to say here. More explorations of darkness. Yay.

Reviews

[LastMonth]

Tell you something,

The Sea is very inspiring. It is infinite and magnificent. And in the night? It is home to the greatest light show on Earth. The Stars.

I've spent three years on a boat. I've sailed quite a bit, and many of my stories come from inspiring gazes into the water. It is so big and unending that you could practically see anything come out of it. I can see why people dreamed such monstrosities within it. Or such wonders beyond it.

You, as a poet, are no different. The beach and the water brought poetry out of you as well. Yours is somewhat dark, but not that brutal. You remain subtle, and don't cross the line into the realm of macbere and grotesque, which I believe is good.

Something in your Darkness is always so gentle and elegant. Which is both beautiful, and dangerous. It is not the marred and twisted monsters we should fear. It is those that wear a beautiful mask and a gorgeous gown.

A great poem Alicia, keep it up.

[AliciaB]

Thank you so much for such a lovely review!

"It is not the marred and twisted monsters we should fear. It is those that wear a beautiful mask and a gorgeous gown." This is going to be a famous quote someday - I know it. :) Thanks again!

[Unknown Poet]

Very expressive dark emotion ....
This actually showed me a scene of raising arms to the sky sharing deepest dark emotions with nature and sky the fresh cold breeze and hitting waves on us cleansing us and cooling our burning hearts ... I really feel this .
Thank you very much for sharing this writing...

[AliciaB]

You're welcome. Thank you for the wonderful review!

[Unknown Poet]

*Smiles*

[JRJN]

this striking piece of work gripped me from the start, and didn't end up where I thought it might......so much the better......the way you structured it combined very well with such evocative imagery, leading to the passionate finale......

[AliciaB]

Thank you very much!

[Blysful]

You explore the darkness! Sure some people may say 'why are so many of your poems dark?' But most poems are written to encapture the very soul of the things we can't say or explore out loud, so I would be far more concerned if you only explored happier subjects!
As for this poem in particular, yes, it's dark. Beautifully so. There is beauty in pain just as much as there is beauty in happiness, as any strong emotion is caused by the experiences and people that matter most to an individual.
Releasing anguish into a storm through this poetry is actually quite breathtaking. This imagery is so vivid, the world so alluring and the screaming figure in the sand is a character I can't help but want to hold hands with and yell at the skies together.
If there is any one thing I wish you'd never stop doing, it would be creating such mesmerising imagery!

[AliciaB]

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.

[Érenn]

You think? (my reply to your A.N.) Well moving on to the poem, poem this was quite the write. I know this is definitely what normal people would think when they are on the beach,( but then again can I consider myself normal?) I really found the structure unique. The way you break off your verses and the lines present in each verses vary throughout the poem. The next thing that this poem has in abundance is imagery. You express your thoughts here more than anything else. There are many examples I could mention which not only invoke imagery but there is symbolic meaning behind those words, so well done. This is definitely a dark write, but not sure if this one is poignant really. I rather felt you enjoyed this as if you really went through this whole process on your mind and only in the end did it actually scare as to what you wrote here. It's like the last verse is almost giving the meaning of one crying for help to end this agony filled life or free it from it. It almost felt like a love affair with darkness really, but then again it could just be me.

It gave me the chills for sure and I am wondering here what is your inspiration behind this darkness. I guess the fact that you have already got a lot to deal with in the present times, that could be influencing your writes here. Well hoping things do get better for you there. Also you have talent, I want you to explore more than just one theme right now. You have a way with words, try to explore a little more. Well that's all I can say right now ^^ Thank you for sharing ^^ Maybe I understood it better than I have expressed it here. so good job. Let your imagination run wild with all emotions ^^ Great Job Alicia ! ^^

[AliciaB]

Thank you very much for the wonderful review! Now, don't worry - unlike many of my darker pieces, this one was not inspired by some deep emotional issue. To be completely honest, the inspiration came from that feeling you get when a storm is about to hit, when you can sense the electricity in the air, and it feels really cool and kind of scary all at the same time. I wanted to capture that feeling in this poem - hence all the imagery. Still not sure as to where the knife and blood stuff came from. :) So I agree, this poem is not focused so much on being poignant as painting a vivid scene, which I believe I can say was a success. But, then again, poetry is all about interpretation, so you may take it to mean whatever you wish! :) Thanks again for such a detailed review. I will try to get some lighter writing up here in the future, but it all depends on what pops into my head at any given time, which unfortunately is often pretty dark. Don't worry, I'm actually a much happier person than much of my writing makes me out to be. :)

[highonwords]

this gave me quite a bit of a scare - you have a wild imagination - just don't let it get out of hand - take over your life - you'll have your share of real storms and real agony - but don't tempt it to come to you

steph

[AliciaB]

Thank you, both for the review and the advice. Yes, my imagination is rather wild - but don't worry, I'm not looking for any real incarnations of this kind of thing! :)

[highonwords]

you're welcome, my friend :)

steph