Only

Meh.

Only darkness shall sleep beside me.

Only dawn shall bid me wake.

 

Only solitude may clothe me.

Only grief may caress my skin.

 

Only pain shall adorn my face,

Skin washed by tears,

Eyes shadowed with exhaustion,

Lips painted red with self-drawn blood.

 

Only the wind may play with my hair.

Only the sun may stroke my face.

Only birdsong may call my name.

Only the rain may taste my kiss.

 

Only the deepest night shall hear my voice,

Torn heart keening to the stars,

Confessions to the mind-enthralling shadows,

Eyes reflecting no face but the moon’s.

 

Only the clouded sky shall mourn me.

Only the autumn trees may weep.

 

Only the earth may have my body.

Only death shall take my soul.

Author's Note

Gotta be honest - little idea where this one came from. I don't really like it at all, actually. But oh well.

Reviews

[Shabeeh Haider]

I don't know why you do not like it. Its a pretty inspiring poem. It seems to be one of those poems that get born without any effort. You just sort of "vomit" it out. Sorry, for giving such a crude example.
The thoughts are sad. The words are touching.
"Only solitude may clothe me.
Only grief may caress my skin"
I especially love the last two lines.

[AliciaB]

Thank you! Don't worry, I understand the example. :)

[Dynafox]

obviously about feelings of solidarity. I think it's good but some type of twist to the message. I believe the first line to the last pretty much portrays the same idea.

[AliciaB]

Yeah. Being alone - that's about it. Not one of my deepest works. But thank you. :)

[Elmarie]

I loved it on the contrary. It's well written and I think what I like about it is the solitude in it. The fact that although the character is alone She has a connection "all around". Yes there is a sadness but it is profoundly beautiful. LOL it's true I loved it. My favorite lines would be. All of them. :) But if I had to choose it would be this:

"Only the wind may play with my hair.
Only the sun may stroke my face.
Only birdsong may call my name.
Only the rain may taste my kiss."

Keep writing talented one :)

[AliciaB]

Thank you so much!

[Mack L]

I noticed a tone of sadness and pain in this poem.
Though you say you do not like it--you should.
You took what pain is and put it in a poem.
Your use of repetition worked very well.
Which has inspired me to write a poem with tons
of repetition next.
I enjoyed it.


Best,

Mack L

[AliciaB]

Thank you! I'm glad I could provide a little inspiration. :)

[Inject Positivity]

I guess this is kind of heartbreaking and painful, being in a situation like that I know how miserable it can be... You have created a beautiful yet sad picture of a lonely which I loved and felt... Word choices were beautiful, the most important thing about this is that it expresses the feelings very strongly.... I hope it's not true with you, but if it is then my good wishes are there for you... God bless you....

Sincerely
Dhiman

[AliciaB]

Thank you! Thankfully, I am not in this situation - it was just a random idea for a poem. :) But I greatly appreciate the concern!

[idiotproof--1]

This is a really good poem. it's very emotional. I really enjoyed reading it. keep up the good writing

[AliciaB]

Thank you!

[Blysful]

I don't know how you couldn't be proud of this. Even if you the feeling of the poem doesn't resonate with you, even if the rhythm isn't your style, the wording and language used in this is phenomenal. It's clever, creative and beautifully sad. Once again well done! The Earth may be the only one to have your body, but I'm sending hugs your way!

[AliciaB]

Thank you! :) I'm glad you appreciated it.

[Unknown Poet]

I have no words to review this ....
Very pathetic poem....
Well thank you for writing this....

[AliciaB]

You're welcome! Just one question... by "pathetic", do you mean inducing strong emotions, or terribly written? I might side with you on either :) ... but just making sure.

[Unknown Poet]

Yeah very emotional and raw pain...
"Only pain shall adorn my face,
Skin washed by tears,
Eyes shadowed with exhaustion,
Lips painted red with self-drawn blood."

[Unknown Poet]

Hmm you took it in another way... lol
No I really felt the ache in my heart while reading this....

[AliciaB]

Ok. Thank you! It's just that, at least in the United States, "pathetic" is often taken to mean "lame" or "terrible" - pitiable in a bad way. For example, "a pathetic excuse of an artist" would mean a really, really bad artist. We've kind of forgotten about the meaning that relates to emotions, which is the meaning you used. No worries though. :)

[Unknown Poet]

Really nice work ........