Facepalm at Humanity

Permit me to go on a brief and fiery rant.

Welcome to adulthood.

Ew.

No.

Send me back.

Seriously.

I don’t want this crap.

I may be eighteen now,

But I’m really not interested in your “mature content.”

You call obsessing over this kind of thing mature?

How about disgusting?

You know, contrary to popular belief,

Life is not all about sex.

Oh, I’m sorry.

Did I offend you?

Well, you offended my innocence.

Deal with it.

And while you’re at it,

Could you please put some clothes on?

This is making me uncomfortable.

You can call me a prude,

But I’ll tell ya what, dude;

I think it’s quite rude

To go around nearly nude.

Bam.

Yes, that just happened.

And there’s more to that girl than what you’re looking at.

Do you even know what color her eyes are?

They’re amazing.

But, you know,

Nobody finds soulfulness sexy.

And by the way,

While you’re making gazillions of dollars telling me that my body’s the only thing that makes me beautiful,

Thanks for telling me that natural is ugly

And setting me up to hate myself for the rest of my life.

No, really.

I appreciate it.

I’ll just go and eat this chocolate you sold me

And then cry myself to sleep.

You’ve even succeeded in ruining candy.

I applaud your achievement.

And while I’m being scathingly sarcastic,

Did you know that showing off the fact that your linguistic capabilities extend only to words that are four letters long

Is really not that cool?

Just saying.

But you could cuss me out if you wanted.

I’ll just smirk and say “sesquipedalian” or something.

And one more thing -

For many of you who claim not to believe in God,

You sure invoke His name quite a bit.

"Oh my God" -

You sure He's not yours?

And for those who do believe in Him -

Aren't we not supposed to say that in this context?

I mean, come on, people;

Let's do at least one thing right.

There is a literally infinite amount of things I could rant about right now,

But these are the ones that irk me the most,

And I’ll be in your shoes pretty soon anyway,

So I maybe shouldn’t complain.

But please don’t take offense if I don’t do all the things that you do.

Gonna find some better role models, if that’s all right.

Maturity, huh?

LOL.

I’ll stay a kid.

Author's Note

Dripping, searing, scathing sarcasm... is tons of fun. :)

Reviews

[Raylene]

I love this adulthood is hard I myself hate the stereotype of what society sees as beauty I value a mind over body to be an innocent child again would be bliss yet even now young ones are learning the cruel ways of the adult word that was
Awaits them.

[AliciaB]

Thanks for the review!

[Raylene]

Anytime my dear

[GalaxyGhost]

It's messed up in adulthood how people take things way out of context. That's probably one annoying thing about growing up. I could complain more, but the poem seemed to sum it up pretty well.

[AliciaB]

Haha thanks. :)

[Einstein Noodle]

wow! ..yes ...blistering is the word that came to mind in the first 6 or 7 lines :) ... i have two daughters (grown now) but this attitude is one i tried very hard to instill in them ... as well as my two sons (also grown) ... i find it refreshing to hear a young person that is fed up with false images supported by political "correctness" as well as most of our schools here in the USA ... as they are unabashedly left leaning .. loosing any kind of moral rudder for the sake of "acceptance" and "open mindedness" ..its like "sorry Alice! There really is a right and wrong." glad i found your pages young lady :)
E.

[AliciaB]

Thanks! I appreciate it.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A telling and intriguing piece of the thoughts we all hide, well done, good read.

[AliciaB]

Thank you!

[LastMonth]

Sometimes it's fun being bad.
Well, not bad. But maybe just rude. Or maybe not rude.
Maybe just honest.

There's alot of things that you say here that I agree with.
This is more a statement then art, but that doesn't mean the two can't co-exist.
I agree with my whole heart about the 'Mature' Content.

Not that I have anything against it, but sometimes it's done in really poor taste. And it just feels as cheap and disgusting.

My favorite line I suppose is that 'You ruined candy.' So simple and definetly powerful.
Good job Alicia.

[AliciaB]

Haha thank you. :) I agree, there definitely is a place for such "mature" stuff, but some of it is just plain gross. And I'm glad you liked the candy part. It was fun to write.