Turquoise clover avenue

"Hold it back Estelle. I need this last sparkle of glitterish nonsense in your eyes. Never hold my lusty widows back, you know that my spiritual collapses will come back. I see bloodish crickets crumbling through the minds of lost wolfs. This woman in her velvet coat and the great rubins in her eyes that made the reunion of the nymphes look less heroic. I mean why do I lose my breath in purple oceans, but even more in violet violent plates of my soul?"  

"You talk rubbish Jean. You know you lost your pride but gained two  tickets to the asylum last summer. "

"To whom are you talking? Who is Jean ?"

"Take the mahogany coloured pill and spit your damn nonsense out of my existencial frame. Just do it."

"You will never get yourself out of the frames aren't you? However, answer my question you ignorant beast."

"Well, Jean was the man that you  portrait physically at the moment, but your mind is now just a bucket of rotten schizophrenic daisies. We lost Jean last August after he visited his aunt Petunia in Marseille. She was the muse of all the bohemians and wondering wanderers. Jean was never lost, he was just meant to be at the wrong side of the universe. All he wanted was the sky, and Petunia knew it. She knew that he had that forbidden lust to throw the canvas of this world away just to be a cube in a another dimension. Just one piece of the canvas that fullified his existence. Picasso's canvas of perception, his colour phases of emotion. This raw battle between man and his inner soldier. I cannot say this without a pale drop out of my eye, but he lost his being in the woods. While he was starring at turquoise clovers. Turquoise clovers of reincarnation that make you stare and become a mindless mess without any rational reason. She blamed herself for making him lunatic and ripped her veins away after he left, but before she left, she told him to watch the moon and wait for the nymphes to come out of the seaside everytime a shooting star is coming up in the sky, and to think of her while she is joining the stars. "

"But wait who am I, and why are you joining the stars Estelle?"

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

"Hold it back, Estelle. I need this last sparkle of glitteriest nonsense in your eyes. Never hold my lusty widows back, you know that my spiritual collapses will come back. I see bloodiest crickets crumbling through the minds of lost wolfs. This woman in her velvet coat and the great rubins in her eyes that made the reunion of the nymphs look less heroic. I mean why do I lose my breath in purple oceans, but even more in violet violent plates of my soul?"
"You talk rubbish, Jean. You know you lost your pride, but gained two tickets to the asylum last summer. "
"To whom are you talking? Who is, Jean?"
"Take the mahogany coloured pill and spit your damn nonsense out of my existential frame. Just do it."
"You will never get yourself out of the frames, aren't you? However, answer my question you ignorant beast."
"Well, Jean was the man that you portrait, physically at the moment, but your mind is now just a bucket of rotten schizophrenic daisies. We lost Jean last August, after he visited his aunt Petunia in Marseille. She was the muse of all the bohemians and wondering wanderers. Jean was never lost, he was just meant to be at the wrong side of the universe. All he wanted was the sky, and Petunia knew it. She knew that he had that forbidden lust to throw the canvas of this world away just to be a cube in another dimension. Just one piece of the canvas that fulfilled his existence. Picasso's canvas of perception, his colour phases of emotion. This raw battle between man and his inner soldier. I cannot say this without a pale drop out of my eye, but he lost his being in the woods. While he was staring at turquoise clovers. Turquoise clovers of reincarnation that make you stare and become a mindless mess without any rational reason. She blamed herself for making him lunatic and ripped her veins away after he left, but before she left, she told him to watch the moon and wait for the nymphs to come out of the seaside every time a shooting star is coming up in the sky, and to think of her while she is joining the stars. "
"But wait who am I, and why are you joining the stars, Estelle?"

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I had to edit a few areas for clarity --- but you are the author of this work...so I leave it at that...just my observation as I went along the lines...seems she is daydreaming as she delves on the painting's interpretation --- as this event unfolds and in the end line...she comes around and makes that clear...

[Jeannette Lunete]

First of all, thank you for your review and time that you spent by reading my first published work in this community of brilliant writers. I have always found the diversity of perceptions fascinating and I am glad that you have shown me your way of generalizing this plexus of imaginative mess.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

It's all in how you take it in...I like to edit and show my fellow writers in full detail of their work...it's difficult to fragment the review...makes it harder to understand the point of view from the reviewer...I found it easier to just show the whole thing over again...and mix and match the observation for them...so they can either accept the changes or go with their instincts...makes everything clearer and they can evaluate the reference at leisure...you're welcome...

[Moonie]

Oh, where do I start. I reckon, perhaps with a big, fat Wow!!! I love your imagination and creativity, and the way you linked your sentences. Every single paragraph, sentence, and word is brilliant. Need I say more? ...I simply love this one. Kudos to you! I look forward to reading more of your work! :))

[Jeannette Lunete]

Thank you so much Moon's fairest daughter for these gracious words. Your amazement makes me wordless. I'm truely grateful and for this encouragement. :)

[Janna Ruusuvuori]

Love it! Watch out in the forest because once the fae got you, it is very hard to get away!

[Jeannette Lunete]

Thank you very much Janna. I am glad that you love it. :)
Well hypnotic branches are always trying to become a shelter for intoxicated skulls... :)

[Elwyn]

The many names in this piece were a tad confusing, however, there is not a single doubt that you are talented. Your fresh descriptions are entirely unique and utterly gripping, specifically, "pale drop out of my eye," "ripped her veins away after he left," "bloodish crickets," and "rotten schizophrenic daisies." Incredible writer, through and through.

[Jeannette Lunete]

Thanks a lot Elwyn for the review. It means a lot to me. :)

[Einstein Noodle]

the first "paragraph" hooked me .. again the way you say things is a color of mind bend "...bloodish crickets crumbling through the minds of lost wolfs." ..fantastic i think ..:)
portrait (sp) do you mean portray?
i read this as self talk that involves multiple personalities .. aside form minor editing issues .. i find this a fascinating tale .. and again you have delectable taste in word choices ..so original ..
E.

[Jeannette Lunete]

Thank you Einstein Noodle. I enjoy reading your reviews. It is quite interesting how many different perspectives of understanding this tale has built up. I feel like only Jean knows the truth. I am never at the point where I give the story a final act. It feels quite liberating for the reader and me. :)

[Tam Warink]

I've had sessions like that but I've always been reluctant to write them down. They seemed so outlandish and incoherent that I was afraid that even I would not understand them a short time afterward. But the sea.. the sea, be it water or an expanse of turquoise clover, is immediately distinguishable from the abutment of land. It's the meeting of the two - that's where this piece reveals its flagrant disregard for the casual reader's sensibilities. No one-off skiming of paragraphs here. The gold's in the ground and you've got to dig for it. I have blisters. I go to rest, drink something coherent and smell the moonlight in Marseille.

[Jeannette Lunete]

Thanks for the review Mr. Warink. I enjoyed rereading it.

[Coyote Poetry]

"You talk rubbish Jean. You know you lost your pride but gained two tickets to the asylum last summer. "
"To whom are you talking? Who is Jean ?"
The above lines make me want to know more information. I liked the story. I did want to know and read more. I like the conversations and the ending.
"She blamed herself for making him lunatic and ripped her veins away after he left, but before she left, she told him to watch the moon and wait for the nymphes to come out of the seaside everytime a shooting star is coming up in the sky, and to think of her while she is joining the stars. "
I could write a poem from the above lines. Thank you for the entertaining tale.
Coyote

[Jeannette Lunete]

Thanks a lot Coyote. I would really like to read your poetic version of the tale. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Wouldn't be the same. You write with amazing thoughts and imagination. I wish I had.

[Jeannette Lunete]

Don't put barriers to your imagination. The world of fantasy doesn't contain limits. Just keep being creative! :)

[ANM]

Your writing is captivating holding the readers attention! The words you use are well chosen and after all words are what makes writing the beautiful thing it is! Well done!

[Jeannette Lunete]

Thank you for this array of kind words that give me desire to create over and over again. :)

[ANM]

You are very welcome, keep them coming!

[Blogger]

I think this needs a little more spacing....it would make it easier to read and enjoy.

I like though now it keeps your attention and seems a bit exciting.

[Jeannette Lunete]

I am glad that it kept in some certain way your attention. Thanks for the review.