Kelly's Birthday Trip

How my brother's birthday became a torture for him and me.

Kelly's Birthday Trip

     My Brother,Kelly, decided to help a friend & also see if he really had made the right decision in getting out of trucking. The day(did I mention it was his birthday?) started ok with a half hour watching the unloading a load of hay. Then as we're about to leave Cheyenne, we hear the service airline leaking(so he has to replace that before we can move). So that done, we go to Little America to wash the windshield, and the day of FUN starts.(well, the word I'm thinking of starts with F U, we'll just pronounce it FUN)

     A few things, the Truck is very well taken care of, but has over a Million miles on it. It has an Automatic Transmission. A very tight turning radius, but the trailers axles are all the way to the back so it doesn't follow though a turn at all. Kelly quit driving more than 6 years ago because Truckdriving isn't enjoyable for him(drive a car,P/U, SUV anywhere for long stretches but not a Tractor-semitrailer).

     So, off we go. It doesn't take very long for Kelly to remember why he quit Truckdriving(actually he partially remembers before we get to Little America). But this truck has no governor on the engine & the simple fact of 75mph in a truck mitigates some of his discomfort( I like to think my company helped also) So, dozens of miles later we're trying to remember how to exit to Lusk(now why would we bring a map? we live here). So I say, US26 past Guernsey & he takes that exit.(there is a visitor's center at that exit which could have told us where we were, did we stop there? No) So adding 30 more miles to his self-torture we blythely go past Guernsey and see the sign to US85 and LINGLE.(oh, US26 doesn't go past Lusk, but Torrington) Huh.

     This is the point where Kelly takes out his iPhone & calls up his GPS app. Alright, to get to Lingle take a Left onto US85, & the trailer almost takes out the pedXing sign in the middle of the road there. The next sign says another 50miles to Lusk. A trip that should have started before 09:30 actually started a hour later, now has another hour just to get to the Loading place, Huh. Well, we finally get to Lusk at 12:15 & call the Shipper, Dale. He meets us north of town at the scale and the truck weighs exactly what it weighed yesterday(that's impossible we didn't fuel it and it has now done a turnaround, turns out that Kelly was sitting in the driver's seat filling out his logbook & weighs exactly whatever fuel was used would've weighed)LOL. OK. Now, we follow Dale back to US18 & head West past the Port of Entry(which Kelly goes in & checks in) then out just past a rest area is a gravel road turn left and go 4miles to a field with a gate. oh joy. Go through the gate follow a two-track dirt trail along the fence. "U might want to get the truck out of the ruts, Kelly" He turns the wheel a little to the right, then a little more, then more. With a tremendous lifting, rolling heave the truck jumps out of the ruts, no big deal. The loading place is actually across the field to a small gathering of round hay bails.

     OK. We start loading. Dale has done this 100's of times. We, by the way, have no experience except like most people around farms & ranches, we've seen the loads moving down the road. He starts putting bails on & I start pulling the straps out of storage. Kelly is at the back of the trailer trying to show Dale when the current bail is in position. I realize that someone(me) is gonna have to climb up on top of the bails to catch & lay out the straps so they actually hold the load down.

      A side note; Bails of hay are very attractive homes for BUGS. As soon as they are left alone for more than an hour, they will have several thousand BUGS happily making home improvements; painting the walls, rearranging the furniture, eating a neighbor, hanging pictures, having children. U know, going about their daily lives, minding their own business. Then this Enormous, Horrible, Man-made Machine suddenly picks up, shakes, twists & slams down several times onto a trailer, their home that they have lived in peacefully for days now. they R Not happy, they R Disturbed!

     OK, there I was........ On top of a rocking, unstable pile of freshly disturbed hay. The only target of unhappy BUGS, trying to hand-signal Dale(who by the way, is in an A/C cab of a farm tractor) who can't really see me because of the roof of said tractor. I was not bit, stung or otherwise injured by any of the aforementioned BUGS, but I do NOT like the close proximity, so I kept having to change my position to encourage them to go elsewhere(ask my wife, I don't dance, but if anyone had had a video camera, it probably could be set to music) Finally, my own torture-session ends, Dale gives me a lift down with the forks & I can show Kelly how I would strap this load down. As I head around the back of the trailer I notice the Right Rear Outside tire is off the rim(so That's what happened when we got out of the ruts!).

      Kelly gets everything tied down & I put the Oversize Load sign and flags on the truck. He slowly starts across the field to the gravel road then slowly drives up the road to the hiway. He doesn't turn the lights on, I'm thinking of the tire & forget to say anything. We agree to stop at the rest area and tighten all the straps down. The fact that it is difficult to see around the load is a little disconcerting to Kelly. The load is about 10ft 4in wide. looks unstable as all get out. we get to the hiway, and start the 400 yard trek to the rest area when Kelly says, "Really?!?" I'm thinking a bundle has fallen off, No we're being pulled over by a state trooper. Kelly cannot have another ticket or he'll lose his real job. The Trooper is concerned by several things, I mention to Kelly that I believe he will be asked about the tire, no the trooper didn't see the tire but thanks for telling him, Charles.

     Kelly and the trooper discuss the safety operation of an 'Oversize Load' & conclude with several warnings for Kelly as the driver responsible that after reporting to the Port of Entry he will get them all taken care of. One more thing to add to the growing list of 'Things Kelly Doesn't Like About Truckdriving'

     Well, to make a long story short, (TOO LATE!) we have the tire fixed, Kelly fixes(again!), the service airline, we have "the Greasiest Fries on the Planet" at the Outpost Cafe' & take every bit of daylight left to get back to Hillsdale where Kelly is paid off & tells his friend, "Thanks for the opportunity,but Never Again!" 

The End.