Story

This is about being insecure and feeling uncomfortable with yourself! When you are just as good as anyone else, maybe even better!

Story that isn’t mine. A beautiful story line, that lye in someone else’s life. A story I cannot possibly seem to write.  I try to write songs, dream incredible dreams that stray far away from reality. Idealism  will never transform into actuality. Warm sweaters can never be a thick layer of skin, that hide factuality. To wear a sweater you need skin to be comfortable within.  We are truly naked when wearing cloths if your skin is just made of fabric. Artificial, manmade, scientifically plagued. Blood covered by band-aids doesn’t always go away. Love covered by fear, who is it you blame? Do you wait or push everyone out of the way. Once again to hopefully reign. Queen on hiatus with society, what will you gain? Will she fit in if she becomes superficial and vain?  The queen once had skin, but skin is still judged whether an adult or a kid. Skin that now feels stretched too thin. Queen when will you tighten your white skin, pick up a pen and write your own book once again?

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Not bad. I think the wordplay with 'lye' would have worked better if you followed it up with more wordplay in a similar vein later, but there's nothing to support it - think about changing that, maybe? You raise good questions in this, but I'd caution you to not be too questioning. Provide at least some of the answers.

[Alona Rivika]

So you kind of mean like when it says "lye in someone elses life", talk about how in their life they are "superficial and vein" and just sort of connect it more?

[Trigorin]

Not really, I mean follow up the double meanings of 'lye' with more double meanings in the rest of the piece. At present, that's the only one.

[Alona Rivika]

Oh okay, I see!