Hidden messages

I am not writing this to whine, it is just me writing and rambling.

Sometimes I wish for a new start, but I don't think that will change. I wish I could just muster up the courage, but then again I feel like it would be a losing battle. Dreams are beautiful in theory, but do they ever create beauty in reality? All these indirect sayings through words and poetry start to get old. I wish I could carry my written words and allow them to flow while I speak, but the person in day to day life, is different from the person hiding behind words, sayings and hidden messages written to convey the person hidden beneath the shadows. I wish some of the people I have hurt would realize I am a good person. Maybe it is time to forget and not hate myself for who I allowed myself to become. Maybe it is time to move on... Although, through this letter I still write hidden messages. I still stagnate in the shadow of hope. I still carry every ounce of regret. I want an adventure and an escape. I wish I could tell you all that I crave. I don't want to be fixed, I just wish to say the things I avoided to say. I wish I looked you in the eyes, but the past is gone. I want the new and I hope that maybe the new won't be the same. An maybe, just maybe one day my messages won't be hidden and I will finally have the courage to say what I desire to say.

Author's Note

Just words and hopes...