True Self

Inner struggle with depression.. Creative

Words flow like water, deep into the soil

Conveying meaning from nothing

yet planting our voices deep into the walls

hearing the screams, spouting we shall fall

inner demons do tell all..

conscious to pain, almost everyday

swords slash at veins, knowledge fills ones brains,

sleep, sleep - hear them preach,

infinity describes nothing, that can be reached

momentary guidance will direct one best,

unlocking the true soul, of ones chest..

Do not worry - do not fear,

the ear is meant to hear, your eyes meant to tear,

feel the agony, feel the sear,

feel it cut deep, feel the spear.

Expensive is ones mind, contemplating their thoughts

Forcing cheap kindness, does not mean a lot.

Shocking as it may be, difficult to see,

true personality shines, when one is on his knees..

Author's Note

Overall thoughts.. ? Likes/Dislikes ?

Reviews

[mattavelli]

Hello, Alonzo! :)
I enjoyed it.
I don't like the "walls" in line three. I don't understand it and pushes against the soil in line one, confusing.
I like the rhyme.
Overall, it reminded me of a video I saw on Facebook, about how lobsters shed their shells when they outgrow them. The message was that they don't grow unless they feel uncomfortable.

[Alonzo]

The walls are meant to describe surroundings/setting - surrounding one self.

[Surabhi Kaushik]

Absolutely stunning poetry. You have a very powerful style of writing, could feel the words pounding from your heart. I liked it, though some places I was confused as to what you wanted to say...These lines in the poem "Expensive is ones mind, contemplating their thoughts

Forcing cheap kindness, does not mean a lot."
keep up the good work.

[Tony Jordan]

I think the depression is very well described - the reader gets the feeling of being buried.
BUT
It has hope - especially in the final line. I love poems that leave the reader with hope.