Colour.

Colour.

A Poem by Aly
"

=D

"

 

Her life had been drained of colour;
Meaning.
Nothing mattered anymore,
Now that he was gone.
She could barely move.
Each breath she took hurt;
Reminded her of him.

© 2009 Aly


Author's Note

Aly
Critique?

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Reviews

You could have added in something about everything she saw, did, reminded her of him, and the title could have been a little better in conveying the theme of the story, but other than that an excellent job. Keep writing.

Posted 14 Years Ago


My advice: Keep climbing. You're nearing the pinnacle of emotion and power in your poetry, and are one of the most talented poets I've seen. Great write! I love your work! :)

Posted 15 Years Ago


The breath part didn't seem to fit the title, though it did help get the theme across to the readers. Again, great poem.

Three times

Posted 15 Years Ago



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Added on January 18, 2009

Author

Aly
Aly

Brisbane, Australia



About
Im Aly. Im awesome. Im in grade eight. I love my friends ♥ Jacula Jordan ♥ 6 Months ♥ Im gonna miss everybody from primary so much :( I love you guys ♥ Kthx.. more..

Writing
Childs play. Childs play.

A Poem by Aly