When I Grow Up

When I grow up I want to be???

Even at the age of 41, I still can't answer this question.
All I can remember, is wanting to be an author.
I wanted to make people confront themselves. I wanted to make people truly deal with their feelings, and not have to hide as I always felt that I had too.
I was always so worried about what everybody else thought.
I wanted everyone else to be happy, and no matter what; I refused to believe it when people told me that I wouldn't be able to please everyone... Funny huh, Yeah... well, I still struggle with that. This world has so much hate, pain and sorrow that I almost feel like it's somehow my duty to just do what I can to fix it; even if it means sacrificing my own happiness.

That being said; I'm so tired...so incredibly tired.

Just once I wish I could just give into myself.