My Love & Hate For You

i am done with you

Holding back the tears,

While I ponder the painful,

Memories of you.

I love you so much that,

I hate you,

And that's the truth.

You filled me up with love,

But now your gone,

What do I do.

Tears falling down my face,

But you’re not here,

To wipe them off.

Do you ever think about me,

Or did you simply just,

Dust me off,

I gave you my heart and you know it,

But sometime I feel that you,

Only keep me around,

To make yourself look good.

If you are that makes you evil,

Cause if I could give you the world,

I would.

Author's Note

favorite part?

Reviews

[A magic smile (◕ᴗ�..]

Before you been punish to hell let me know

[JayG]

• favorite part?

How can the reader have one? In this, someone we know nothing about complains about someone not introduced, for unspecified acts over an unstated period. How can that have meaning to the reader, other than, "Aww, s**t!" ?

The story—the things that generated the poem, never made it to the page. Sure, it's meaningful to you, because for you, every line points to memories, events, and situations that reside in your mind. But for the reader? Every line points to memories, events, and situations that reside in *YOUR* mind. But without you there to explain when it's read...

My point: Instead of telling the reader how you feel, which, at best, might generate, "Aww, that's tough," Make the reader hate/love that person. Focus on making them care, not know. Don't complain to someone we know nothing abou. Instead, and poetically, make us both know, and care.

Is that easy to do? Hell no. But it is why they pay poets such huge salaries. 😁

At all costs, avoid what's often called, The Dismal Damsel Poem.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/

[Anaya]

I get this, and appreciate your advice. But I write to heal myself not to really express everything to the reader. The stuff I write is up for interpretation. A lot of people prefer this writing method because it gives them a chance to put their own memories with my emotions. But I really do get what your saying, makes total sense. I just really wrote this poem to heal myself and posted it.

And surely you could still have a favorite line, lol.
Maybe check out some of my other stuff, I have written like that before.