"Self..."

Not the usual send people to find another real Artist's work.

This isn't a usual "send people to visit an artist's work" sort of entry.  This is a piece of "self" pondering and about taking a pause in the middle of a writing stream and letting your mind go with what you find.  I did find a REAL and held-me-fully-paused piece that I in turn point to in mine.

"Self..."

 

Sometimes I feel so foolish, 

I KNOW no one hears ...me... 

no one wants to listen, 

no one has reason to.  

 

Damn, the night is sooo dark,

the clock ticks incessantly -

everything is fading and fading

going... going...

and I await

await

...ending... just sitting - staring

waiting       for       nothing - really.

What AM I waiting for -

who? - someone?  anyone?

anyoneatall...

 

It hurts... why? WHY DOES IT HURT!

WHAT hurts?  It's dark is all...

I want to cry - need to     cry,

it hurts to breathe... do I want to?

What DO I want?  Do I want?

Do I ...want?  Hurt?   Cry?   Breathe?

Am I         awake?

 

Is it all a dream?

Am I?  Who's the dreamer?

I wish...

but that would be "telling" wouldn't it?

But if no one IS listening

even though it's "telling" - 

I still care.

Can YOU see me?

- at all?

 

Sometimes when you find …you’ve paused and been held by… a reality stronger than your NOW - your own thoughts just …play.  Kelly Scheppers " “Far More Beautiful Than I” " did this for me.

 

Two doors down... I used to dream -

of what I could have said

of what you could have said back...

of what little things meant

of a sprinkle of freckles

of how your head turned just    sooo,

...of eyes    glistening -

that just held me in place

and of hair made for tasting, touching.

 

At night, my mind remembered

...the scent of purple,

violet and lavendar as I dreamt.

...what lips did when the smile rose in the morning.

...the echoes of auburn...

highlights and shadows     playing

flowing with every turn and step.

And how your hands -  your    hands

fingers   tips    moved and touched

...everything...

 

I caught you daydreaming

but didn't speak...

I knew you were watching his door

and all the people

always going in - always pausing

DOING   something

= for Sunday's noise.

He was good -

Adonis of the ways...

He was so much more

than I would ever be

- but I dreamed,

I really did     dream...

 

Kelly’s words brought out echoes  and tastes, and swirls of memories and purpose.  A haunting thought-flow that just …continued.  Beauty is in our eyes and beautiful is our perception and sometimes ...well, sometimes the eyes that glisten so softly in the dark see THEIR dreams where others see their sighs.

 

Chris

Author's Note

pause at Kelly Scheppers work... I did.

Reviews

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

Reflection on and intertwining with many thoughts...
captivating and floating on a breeze with wonder and crossing
Sure that it may go unnoticed or noted, however the lovely images carry it along.
Well written in your pause of reveries.

[AprilRN1210]

your work always makes me pause.. think.. savor.. re-read... and fall into your enchanting spell.. your words tease, and guide, flow and dance, grab and shake.. the way you "tell" a story is so captivating and affecting.. the reader cannot do anything but "listen".. we are there.. this one has such a sweet, nostalgic tone and another of respect and wonder.. another amazing piece Chris.. It is always such a pleasure to visit your page..

one thing I noticed..."it hurts to breath... do I want to?"... did you mean "breathe?"

[Chris]

yes I did...thanks. It's nice having you come by - you always make a difference.

[Chris]

Simply heart and spirit stirring.. I enjoyed and paused and thought... Very nice indeed.. I bow in honor of getting to take part in reading writing this...

[Chris]

Life treating you well? I need to come by myself - things just get busy somehow.

I am fine... sometimes better than fine.. yes I understand the busy push life sometimes propels towards us.. me included.. Hope this finds you well and that a few wild giggles find you today

[Chris]

chuckling here... needed that - thanks.

[LadyAnn68]

This one touches the soul. It is deep as it can get yet shines through. Great write! It is a piece that is FELT!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, me too, Chris...and she is quite good, isn't she?

[Kelly Scheppers]

I am overwhelmed by this, Chris. You wrote so beautifully in compliance to my words...I only hope you know the depths in which this has touched me - in which you have touched me!

My best,
Kelly

[Coyote Poetry]

Kelly is wonderful and so are you. I hope you are doing well. I'm here in Michigan and I like the Indian Summer so far. Always good to read your words. I added you to my favorite. I will keep in touch.
Coyote

[Chris]

I have always considered her one of the "Greats" here... Her talent always gives me pause.

[Coyote Poetry]

She is. She read my work too. She is very kind.

[Jen]

The Self poem is beautiful. Kelly's poem is like a wandering thought. i liked these lines - "the scent of purple----echoes of auburn..."
the last two lines continue the love dreaming... keep it up.

[Lyn Anderson]

I read Kelly's poem and I thought it was beautiful. This, wandering, through that thought process, is something unique and truthful, and captivating all on its own.

[MomzillaNC]

How often are we set off on a rant of questioning by another's lines? Of such is often new poetry born. This one captures that and the struggle we, as poets, try to define.

[Chris]

Good insight... and thought-full.

[MomzillaNC]

As your poem provides.

[Chris]

Poetry empowers - each of us... to listen and to feel - to learn and to grow - to touch and be touched.

[MomzillaNC]

Absolutely. As do all the arts. I'm a visual artist and a poet. And a singer. All of it… gifts to touch the soul. These are things that must be shared.