"Remember When..." - The Cafe Series - Life As We Live It.

All the music we've lived ...and lost.

“Remember When…” - The Café Series - Life As We Live It.

 

Chuckling so softly …so very, very, very softly… somewhat to myself but not really paying attention - just leaking, leaking, just BEING …me…, sitting, being HERE in the “moment”.  Sometimes that IS all you CAN do - as you and the music fades and life

 

…echoes

and echoes

 

…moments…

lived…witnessed…shared…endured…

…let go…

 

mine…others

each I an “our”.

 

Sometimes we survive childhood,

but who the hell knows the hows -

let alone the whys?

And the good crowds close,

the bad closer still

 

…moments… happenings,

 

…breathe…breathe…

 

learning to forget

 

to dream

‘til we become who we are.

 

And all the “…laters.” 

So many, many “…laters.”

I don’t use “Goodbye” -

for me back then it WAS and still IS always final,

a children’s life-held and “echoed” lullabye.

 

And then come more moments

“…Some hear the glasses and bottles clink and voices play back and forth - back and forth.  Sometimes laughter rings out - raucous, braying, stupidsillylaughter and it hurts in the now” - “Missing Friends” toast each July -

 

moments.

 

And still more …laters…

happen -

as life always does.

 

…and more Julys…

 

And we live our “now” moments

one-by-one-by-one

‘til we can’t.

Then …don’t…

- or even…

 

"Remember When…"

 

Remembering how to breathe is hard

and wanting to is even …harder

…ya know…

as moments gather and swirl.

Pause

stop …brighten ~ take on LIFE…

L I F E

just to soooo slowly move away

and away

and …away.

 

And THAT pain hurts -

always does, always will

- as all pain HURTS…

and builds …builds

additive

addictive

seductive

‘til its always there

IN the eyes, the life,

each breath, step, pause

…thought…

Ever cry in a daydream?

Yeah, then ya know don’tcha.

 

 

And it hasn't been a while

any while at all - since

the last visit

moment

pause

remembrance

brush

…touched within my eyes,

behind my eyes,

caught my reaching fingertips,

tugged my sleeve,

tickled my cheek -

remindingly left tears to slowly find their way

back into the ocean …of me.

 

Every tomorrow

the early morn's coffee is near,

lifeblack …dark with chilling …ghostlets…

drawing me in,

in and down - deeper

deeper into the cup -

the cusp

the nows…

the nows - of the waiting,

remaining,

paused, lost within THE stare

the stares - the times,

that forlorn we -

that we …WE… lost to memories' mysts

…as I will be then

…and am in this now.

 

You CAN hear all the hearts …bleat

-you don’t have to listen hard either.

And there IS no doubt in you at all

of what you hear, heard.  You KNOW

…exactly…

‘cause you KNOW your OWN sound so well.

 

You CAN ignore it

…but…

you KNOW you can’t

…can’t…

because it’s who you are

and always will be.

 

And each damn echo gathers

round and around

tighter and oh so close,

you FEEL the breaths -

theirs, yours …taken -

each …in - exhaled,

…lost… each forever

never ever left behind but …gone.

And faces pause

so many …faces,

so many

- eyes -

gazing in, lives reaching …in,

moments re-breathed

each “now” shared - re-shared ‘til the echoes

come again

and again

each …staying, grasping, holding

‘til torn away -

their promising of tomorrows

- some that came and others

that didn’t - couldn’t -

fading, cascading into the next

and next.

 

And the times …are “nows”

flowing as all the “nows” always do

and life …life… happens

again

and again

…and there ARE smiles

and tears

…and TEARS…

‘til there aren’t

…tomorrows.

 

Chris

Author's Note

Feel free

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the past will be there until we have no more future...to our final days.
this poem takes me several places...reminders of the music of my life...the soundtrack, also those of family and friends i have lost along the way....their pasts mute, their future a non-entity.
It also reminds me of my youth, my college days...all the close calls i had in my life but survived...which always leaves me wondering...."why me?"
"why am i still here, and others i have known are all gone?"
is there a reason...?
maybe to write about them....as you have written about yours here.
this poem is a wonder...
thank you, Chris.
j.

[Richard M]

OMGosh, what a beautiful poem. Thank you for writing such a well and considered piece Chris. Well done! I found a healing in this; a different way of seeing things, a peace. Thank you so much. I'm continually reading, rereading this poem, soaking up this healing and truly thank you for writing such a piece. This is definitely one for my library.
Take care my friend.
Richard

[BlackRose]

No one really wants to say good bye, loving the moments togethers and shared. But very sad to have to when its permanent. ...not having to see those ones again, a door that we don't want to close ever. A deep piece for sure. Excellent piece for thoughts.

[Chris]

I'm glad you came by, thanks for taking the time AND for thinking and speaking up.

[BlackRose]

You're so welcome.

[poetgurl (Plainly Meg)]

WOW, so many, many wonderful emotions through-out. I love how you express the goodbye feeling. It's never really ever goodbye, it's basically until we meet again one day. This is so very in depth. I love this write.... deep & intriguing

[Chris]

It was good of you to pause AND to leave your thoughts ...thank you

[poetgurl (Plainly Meg)]

not a problem...

[Nefertiti Virtudes Ahme..]

Wow so many emotions in this one. Life is something that will forever be as complicated as the “survivor” wants it to be. The quickness of life and death is easy. But the emotions and thoughts and human soul that pours into each decision (good or bad) is what makes it complicated. I really loved this piece Chris. Well done! It really gets you thinking. Kudos!