Break My Heart Over Hot Chocolate

In which Johnny is confused, Peter is oblivious, and Bobby knows way too much.

The first thing Johnny noticed when Peter walked through the coffee shop door was the way his legs moved. Because, duh, Peter's legs were amazing, and any imperfection was wildly noticeable. It looked like Peter was trying to imitate a penguin, if penguins wore huge, dorky glasses and old jeans. It would be funnier to him if it didn't send a nervous pang throughout Johnny's chest.

Johnny waved wildly from across the room and grinned, pushing down the mysterious lump in his throat. Peter found him with his eyes after a minute and waddled over to join him. His smile was strained as he sat down across from Johnny.

"So," Johnny began, folding his hands under his chin in a gossip-ready pose, "are you gonna tell me why you're walking like a drunk cowboy?" He licked his lips, tasting the sweetness left there by his hot chocolate. Johnny wasn't a coffee fiend like Peter. He'd much rather spend $7 on something that's actually tasty, thank you.

Peter hummed and raised his cup to his face, taking a sip before he spoke. "Hello to you, too. Jerk." There was a smile both on his face and in his words. "This coffee is-"

"Exactly what you always get, Pete." Johnny glowed as Peter nodded slowly.

"So, um, I had an... interesting night last night."

There was that feeling again in the pit of Johnny's stomach, cold and sour. Last night? What could Peter have been doing last night?

Johnny cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows. A slow smile crept across his face, though it was forced. "Oh?"

Peter rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I had a wild time with Bobby last night. We were really going at it, it was great."

Unfortunately, Johnny had chosen that particular moment to take a hefty sip of his drink. He nearly asphyxiated as the words passed from Peter's lips and through his ears, which caused a siren to go off in his head. Johnny slammed his hand on the table and coughed loudly. Customers turned to look at him as Peter frowned and smacked his back, muttering about being more careful with hot drinks.

"I know you can light yourself on fire, Flamebrain, but don't chug your hot chocolate 'til it cools off a little, yeah?"

Johnny barely heard him over his inner voice chanting 'what in the hell' at 140 rpm. After a minute more of choking and Peter getting up to get him a cup of water (which Johnny kindly refused, he was fine, yes Peter, he was sure), Johnny calmed himself down and stared blankly at Peter's chest as he continued his story.

"Alright, uh, where was I? Oh, so Bobby and I had a few drinks and we eventually left the bar we were at - well, we were kicked out for misconduct, but still - so we went to a hotel, right?"

Johnny gaped openly. "A hotel?" he squeaked in a very un-Johnny-like way. "You two went to a hotel together, alone, after getting kicked out of a bar?"

Peter blinked once and pushed up his glasses. "Yeah, but it gets better." He shifted in his seat, wincing at the movement, before speaking again. "We get to the hotel and start screwing around again, and, actually, I have bruises on my hip from where Bobby grabbed me."

Johnny could have screamed. Peter tugged up his jacket and pointed at the faded marks that were indeed in the shape of Bobby-sized fingers, planted squarely on his hipbone. Johnny didn't say anything, just gawked as Peter smoothed down his shirt before continuing.

"Actually we, uh..." Peter flushed pink and looked away for a second, fingers dancing along the edge of the table. Johnny watched his face intently.

"You what?"

"Shut up, lemme finish- we were gonna call you up last night. To join us."

Johnny's brain shorted out.

--:-:-:--

Johnny doesn't recall how the rest of their date went (a "platonic get-together," as Peter had called it, but he was in denial). The last thing he remembers is racing Peter in his spider-suit above New York after leaving the shop, weaving through buildings and laughing and shouting taunts and teases. He remembers throwing an arm over Peter's shoulder and holding him close as May opened her door to greet them, and the smell of something tasty cooking. He remembers saying goodbye and feeling like crying.

Now Johnny was making a beeline to an old friend's house - well, a friend's mansion. Well, the mansion wasn't his, but... oh hell, he was going to confront Bobby. By bursting into his friend's classroom, where his Algebra II class was in session.

The kids, to Johnny's surprise, weren't at all shocked when he strolled into the room, shoulders still sparking a little from flight. A few actually waved, and one even set her paper on fire in excitement. Normally Johnny would be soaking up the attention, but he had one thing in mind as he walked up to Bobby's desk and sat pointedly on the corner.

Bobby paused mid-sentence to glance at Johnny, then grinned. "Hey hey hey, buddy! What brings you to my fine math class today?" Bobby stepped backwards until he hit the desk, where he grabbed a marker and began drawing on the whiteboard. "Actually, it's great that you showed up -- everyone, if our friend here started from rest - ignore air resistance and other factors - with his top speed reaching 150mph and growing at an exponential rate, how long would it take him to fly 3500 miles?" He doodled a tiny Johnny zipping through the air surrounded by numbers and arrows.

The students laughed, with one applauding Bobby's artistic talent, and Johnny forced a smile. "And how long, more importantly, is it gonna take for me to talk to you?" At that, Bobby blinked and smiled again in the direction of the students.

"Work on that problem, guys, and I'll catch you all in 5." With that, Bobby turned on his heel and stepped out of the classroom with Johnny in tow.

They reached the end of the hallway and Bobby crossed his arms in front of him when he turned to face Johnny. His face was expressionless, but his eyes betrayed annoyance and... something else. Johnny brushed it off and began the interrogation.

"Look, I want you to know that I'm happy for you. I think," Johnny started. "But... I don't... well, I guess I just never expected..." He swore and licked his lips, trying to sort out his thoughts. "You? And Peter?"

A laugh, bitter and humorless, escaped Johnny's lips. "God, I know I don't want to be jealous or angry, but here I am." He straightened up. "Jealous and angry."

Johnny looked up at Bobby's face, expecting anger or fear or anything else, really, than a screwy sort of hysterics that made an angry flush creep onto his cheeks. "Bobby, what the hell?"

"What are you talking about, Peter and I? Johnny, the hell are you on?" Bobby replied finally, then dissolved into snickers. Johnny found it much less funny than he, evidently, and the fact that Bobby only started laughing harder when he looked up made his head pound.

"You, and Peter, last night. I know what happened."

Bobby wheezed and stood up, bracing himself against a wall. "Oh?"

"Yeah."

"What happened, then?" Bobby grinned in a teasing way and leaned his shoulder against the wall. "Because I guarantee it's not what you think it is."

Johnny sputtered at that. "You two slept together! Peter told me!"

Bobby had the decency to look Johnny in the eye before bursting out into hysterics again. Johnny punched his shoulder half-heartedly, the hot flush spreading to his cheeks now. He didn't like being laughed at, much less by someone who he was certain just slept with his best friend with the knowledge that Johnny had been crushing harder than a 12-year old adolescent female.

"Why are you laughing, you dick? You know I've been trying to get with Pete!"

Bobby tugged himself up again, wiping his cheek as a tear rolled down it. His breath came heavy and he giggled a bit more before coughing and bracing himself on either side of Johnny.

"Johnny." Bobby's eyes were mirthful and they were crinkled at the corners from laughing. "I'm going to tell you right now, nothing happened romantically or sexually between Peter and I last night. Not even a little."

Johnny tossed him a doubtful look. "Yeah? He said you guys were 'really going at it', and that you got tossed out of a bar for screwing around!" Something in his gut twisted when Bobby smiled at him again.

"Yeah, idiot, Peter and I got drunk and he tried to do a set of squats with two pool tables. 'Course he was drunk and I started jumping on the tables, so he kinda dropped them and smashed half the bar flooring..." A grin spread across his lips. "And so we got kicked out." Eyebrows were raised before Bobby continued. "So we decide to come visit you 'cause we know you like competing, but Peter challenges me to another squatting match right outside a hotel and... well I lost, obviously. Super strength, you know?"

"You two are idiots." There's no malice in his words when Johnny says them, just cold, hard relief washing over him and soothing the heat in his cheeks.

Bobby nods and pats his shoulder. "Yeah, well. He was trying to get buff for today, actually. Said he was meeting you for coffee?"

Oh.

"For me?"

"Yeah. He wanted you to notice him."

Johnny blinked and stared at Bobby's forehead. "I... wow. That's crazy." He even laughed a little. "I'm... sorry for all this. I just got really paranoid." Johnny went to turn away as Bobby nodded and began to walk back to his classroom. He stopped in his tracks and shouted for Bobby again.

"Wait a second, what's with the bruises, then? On Peter's hip?"

Bobby raised an eyebrow. "You really don't get it, do you?"

"What? What don't I get?"

The Iceman shook his head and continued walking down the hall with a knowing smile. "Peter doesn't bruise, Johnny. You got played."

And that's the story of how May found Johnny wrestling Peter to the ground in his bedroom, shouting something fierce about playing with his emotions.