Black X

This is just chapter one of my new novel idea :) The novel is based on black magic and its thrilling effects on humans who dabble with it ;)

 

Black X

By Angel Croitor

 

 

 

          It’s not easy growing up in the forlorn basis of the primate city of a country acknowledged for its gray-haired drinking habits. With its streets infested with the perpetual midnight sounds of; befuddled laughter, night club fights, and dismal adolescent antics. This would be a weekly lifestyle for most of the adolescents and young adults in Dublin, but for Arthur Brown, it’s a completely different story. Rather than indulge in midnight binge drinking and hormone driven underage sex acts, Arthur enjoys the odd side of life. Most of the time he would rather spend hours on end, indulging in his most prized and private collection of Stephen King novels and short stories. He would read every sentence, simile, metaphor, personification, and save it in a file, in his memory warehouse, Second Shelf after you follow in through the white door labeled “M.Y.B.” short for mind your business. Many people would portray Arthur as a mysterious yet unsolved puzzle with all the pieces scattered across his room, from his pet spider’s tank labeled Salem, to his glorious barrage of posters of elf-like women, stripped to nothing but a simple medieval thong, made of a chain thread substance, and their long Scandinavian blonde hair resting atop their luscious breasts, with slight glimpses of their n*****s, peering through the blonde hair.

       

    “Arthur!” exclaimed his mother Becky, as she stamped maliciously up the stairs. Arthur's eyes was glued to the computer screen, crowded with websites and pictures of  scrawny and slinky lesbians, with his left hand palpitated to the arm rest, throbbing and sweating franticly, while his right hand had an inclination to carry out his teenage cravings. Had he been given another minute, he would have smeared the guilty stench of climax all over his pale and scraggy body. But he didn’t have another minute, his mother was already up the stairs and her fatigued hand was now twisting the silver rust-infected door knob. Arthur hastily buckled up his trousers, and switched off the monitor while he lunged at the nearest novel. His mother slowly but surely opened the door, only to find Arthur sitting innocently in his black arm chair facing the door.“Arthur did I or did I not tell you to pack your goddamn suitcase?” His mother stated in a low and agitated tone of voice. “Oh sorry ma’ I was just reading the book, and I got so caught up that I forgot to pack it.” Arthur responded naively. His mother merely squinted at his forehead, noticed his greasy hair was now damp with sweat, and his mouth was dry like the lagoons in the Sahara desert. She simply raised her eyebrows in disappointment, and shook her head as she staggered out of his room. She knew quite well, that Stephen King never made Arthur sweat like a pig. Arthur could have guessed that his mother knew what he was doing, but he chose not to believe it. Instead he slammed his weary head against his arm chair, and sighed as if he just got away with murder.

         

      His head peered down at his trouser pocket, and received his mobile phone. “What am I going to do without you baby” Arthur spoke in a bereaved manner. His wallpaper was his nerdy, gullible girlfriend. “Forever” He thought to himself, staring at the pixilated picture. “More like three months and five days” He whimpered. He punched in her number slowly, while taking a moment to regain his daily state, and sat in his chair with his phone attached to his ear. After the third time her phone rung in her back pocket, she recovered her phone and glanced at his picture flashing on her phone. She knew what he wanted to call her for. She wasn’t expecting anything else. She plucked the chicken of courage of its feathers, and answered with an unsuspecting voice: “Hiya babe, how are you?” “Sophie, we need to talk” He answered depressively. She covered her tearful eyes, her mouth over came that pinched frown you spot out when people cry heavily. An insuppressible tear strolled down her plump cheeks. She can’t hold her emotions back any longer, and they break free through her voice. “I knew it” She cried out hopelessly, like a gust of wind barging through the silent air.

      

      Arthur descended from his room, suitcase in one hand and his spider’s tank in the other. Arthur had to explain, to Sophie, that his mother had set up a business a month ago, and that her new shop was built and ready to take off. The only problem Arthur had with this business idea was that it was located in the dead center of Ireland, Mullingar. Arthur spent most of his life accumulated in the dismal estate of the crime infested yet richly adored county known as Dublin. Moving to Mullingar seemed stupid to Arthur at the time, but by law, he couldn’t stay in Dublin without his mother. His eyes were red from the; constant crying and his hand constantly gliding over his eyes, and his cheeks to wipe away the ghastly amount of tears. “How did Sophie take it?” his mother asked cautiously. “She cried to me on the phone, how do you think it went?!” Arthur beckoned at his curious mother. She just shut up and proceeded to carry the suitcases into the luggage compartment of the family BMW jeep. Arthur hoped into the backseat after giving his mother a malevolent glance. He angrily dug into his jacket pocket and received his headphones, swung tightly around his mp3 player, and turned on Killswitch’s song “My Curse”.

     

   His mother reversed out of the driveway, and after one last glance at the house her and his deceased father built, she sighed and drove out of the estate. By now, it was night time, twenty-five past eleven to be precise. The streets were beginning to become teemed with adolescents and adults once again. Arthur stared outside the car window, as the music grew heavier, louder and more emotional with each verse. The BMW halted to a red light outside the road leading into Crooked Wood. The estate which Sophie abided. Arthur noticed where they were. He couldn’t bottle up every emotion running through him at the time. He had to let it all out. He closed his weary eyelids gradually and wept. His mother glanced at him and went to nudge Arthur so she could apologize and maybe regain the dismal account of friendship they shared. But it was too late for that. She reached for Arthur’s shoulder, but the heavy breathing inclined ; Arthur was asleep. Her arm retreated to the steering wheel and her eyes remained on the road for the night.

Author's Note

Chapter one :) Review please.

Reviews

[Nicole Hellene]

Hey, sry I haven't gotten back around to review you, you got lost in my inbox lol.

Aight, so basically the plot-line of this story is that a unique kid has to break up with his girlfriend because his mother is moving him half-way across the country. I understand this is only the first chapter, so you've got a whole book to do character development. Instead of writing paragraphs upon paragraphs describing what your characters are like, infer them, say Arthur was reading a book instead of Arthur liked to read books. Golden rules of writing: Show not tell. Also notice how I broke this whole story down into one sentence? That's what you need to do, prune the useless information like what the characters are like inside and tell a story, use the characters actions to tell the reader what the character was like.

Good first sentence though, I'd probably read a second chapter if I saw this in a bookstore. Just tinker with it.