Are you manly?

Where people are still judged on the basis of their outer appearance, what would you call such a society?!

Being a little skinny guy, people have made fun of me quite a few times. I have been called skeleton, a hanger and once even a wrestler by my school teacher himself. But, as it is in my nature, I never took these seriously as I had always felt your outer appearance is not the ‘real’ you. You could be a skinny guy, or a girl with protruding belly. But that is just a part of you, it could never define you.

But man, was I wrong! All my ‘misconceptions’ were shattered in a brutal manner when a close female friend of mine told me, in my face, that I am not manly enough. As much as I was shocked and angered on hearing this, I asked her on what basis she said that. She bluntly told me I don’t have the physique to be called a ‘manly’ guy. Again, I asked her calmly, whether manliness can be determined only by physical criteria or it is also the attitude of the person. May be she got the hint of my anger; she changed the topic saying it’s both.

Well, that was quite an eye opener. Part of the reason why I was so much shocked was because this was coming from a woman who considered her as an educated and aware feminist. I mean would it be fine if we start making fun of women with disproportionate body or with upper lip hair?! No, of course.  Then why on earth, is it fine for women to say such things about men. Who gave them, or for that matter anyone, the right to make fun of any human being based on their outer appearance. Have we, as a civilization, become so shallow?

So, what defines ‘manliness’? I have been in a situation where a guy was harassing a woman in the busy streets of Delhi (may be his girlfriend), and I had the courage of going up to them and asking her if everything is fine. The guy calmed down. I have also had a few opportunities where I had to take a stand when no one was supporting me. I don’t know if these things would qualify for her to be ‘manly’ enough.

Society is moving in a direction where the line between a man and a woman is disappearing fast. Men are increasingly being seen in jobs where earlier women were seen, women are being seen more and more in the fields such as, well everywhere. A woman who has the guts to slap her molester in full public view is manly for me. A guy who takes a stand for his beliefs is manly for me. Also, I wonder if a guy, who has bulging biceps and six-pack abs, indulges in eve-teasing and harassing women, would my friend and people like her still find him attractive.

So, cheer up you all who have got their attitude right, whether you have sticks in the place of your hands or your belly is helplessly trying to rip off your Tee-shirt. You are cool, you are ‘manly’, and you are just awesome.