When the words became delicate

Love, where is it that you're going?
If you're not careful you'll rot in
that small Texas town.
The Med student by my side
the one with the brown eyes and slow smile
is going somewhere fast.
What is it you have to offer then?
With his hand on my waist, we walk through
Nashville underground art scenes
as he whispers that I look
like a 1920's film star, breath hot against my ear.
As we discuss music and art house films
playing at the Belcourt theatre
he kisses me in dark cafe corner
so soft it dissapears like vapor
into the Nashville nighlife
Your window is closing

Reviews

[Brittany Zedalis]

There is a lot of imagery in this. I like finding people who mention art in their writing. Awesome!

[zainul]

You made a piece using words delicately taking your readers to particular places to personally see what was happening.
This is great,Annelise.

[Pen Draggin']

i quite enjoyed this. i adore the title.

[PianoandPage]

you obviously have a love for film. the pervasive use of it through the few poems i've read (and one review you gave me). lol.

i think you'd make an excellent script writer and/or director. this poem does what i love in certain films... how the heroine really loves mr. nobody and all the metaphors, details, and camera angles follow the stock and trade leading man are a sort of dramatic misdirection.

[Boris]

this is a nicely sketched vignette that allows one a peek into the life of another person, like a short film.

There are the tender shared moments of affection ( I find the following line particularly poetic "he kisses me in dark cafe corner so soft it dissapears like vapor into the Nashville nighlife" ) but hovering above these tender scenes is the spectre of crucial decision-making that need to be made and that would influence the rest of one's life.

[Doug]

I really like this one sis. It was very visual and very emotional. I was worried that the talking to love thing wouldn't work but it did. I think if you were to edit this one a bit, then I'd consider cutting down the number of words. I wouldn't do it a lot, just a little. I mean, its not bad at all right now but a little fewer words wouldn't hurt. Good job though.