On it again

A journey through domestic abuse

On it again. I'll do anything for my children. Wont give up the thing he loves though. He really has no will power. Can I really trust him living next to a pub. Am I actually scared of him... I think I am. I know I am. I'm scared of the drunk him. The nasty, vile him. The him that has nothing to lose. The him that thinks hes evil. The him that acts it. Do I think he would hurt me... possibly. It's not him when hes in that state. He hates me and everything around him. Has he done it before... too many times to count. Could he kill me... I dont think so. But then who actually thinks they can before they do. Hes I'll. Hes not the man I fell in love with. Hes a hollow shell of the man I once knew. The man he was with her. Does he still love her... I didnt think so. He was alot happier. Probably the kids though. But then youd think that being away from her hed be happy. All the abuse he suffered. Am I just as bad... I didnt think so. Maybe I am. Do I manipulate him. I dont mean to. Do I control him... I dont think I could even if I wanted to. All this talk of love and yet I'm scared. I'm scared of what he could do to me if he was that angry again. I'm scared for my daughter and my unborn baby. Let's face it. It's happened before right under my nose. Will things ever change... I dont know.

Author's Note

Ignore grammar and punctuation. Had to get it down fast.