Spare the pleasentries

I feel like I've just been smacked in the face by life, for metaphors sake I'm simply saying that my eyes have opened, and oh how it sucks.

Never before in my life have I noticed that my town resembled nothing more than a jail. South Florida is the home of gated communities, a place where the youth challenged folk love to sit back and deny decay. So how is it that I have ended up living here? My life has ended before it started, I just crossed the starting line fifteen years ago yet at age seven I was swept away to the finish line. WHAT THE F**K HAPPENED TO THE ENTIRE RACE?! I cannot help but sit here and bang my head against the wall hoping to knock myself into a coma because at least when I'm unconscious it seems like I'm somewhere else. I'm surrounded by a see of retirees who enjoy the peace and quiet which is fine for them, but what about me? I cannot continue to live like this. I lie to cover up the fact that I live in a gated community based on the soul fact it is to unnervingly humiliating to admit that I dwell amongst those who hide themselves from life. Life is fun, it is why we exist. I don't get one though. So in essence I am not living. I am dead inside, while outside looks...well no better than dead. Stress and sorrow can do that, it's a funny thing how easily it erodes someone's being into a horrible deformity of what they should be. What I'm trying to say here is, well, FML.