Paper Towns

Paper Towns

A Poem by Christine

Quick sonnet for my english class. I know it's not all that good, but give me feedback?

We blindly view the world through sheepdog bangs,
Hidden, hiding. Cage away secret fears
Not stopping to see the birds,bees, and cranes.
Indifferent to their grimy onyx tears.
Too rushed, can't see the monster we are.
Drowning out the sounds of the world's cry,
damaged, see the perfection we've marred,
ignoring the acid rain and gray sky.

Watch the sunsets and smell the fresh air,
for the day comes when the world crumbles down.
And there will be only us to blame, care.
And there will be no more of our plastic towns.

Swish aside your deceitful bangs, see the light.
Ignore our manufactured lies

© 2010 Christine

Author's Note

:) yeah. Please help?

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Now this is amazing, very well written and enjoyable imagery.

Posted 13 Years Ago

0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like poetry that speaks of our world's troubles making us more aware.
This one does this .. as for the writing it is to me, very good..
We blindly view the world through sheepdog eyes.. that is a really nice line!
Great imagery and description for me . i love it .. did you get a grade yet?


Posted 13 Years Ago

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2 Reviews
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on April 26, 2010
Last Updated on April 26, 2010



Seattle, WA

edit: 9.21.11 I haven't been on in several months, I'm sorry about that, I'll try to be more active! I've been going through a rough patch lately and all my writing hasn't been all that decent... I.. more..

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