Stained Scarlet

An old angst poem, when I was going through a thick bout of depression.

 

It happened again.
I wake up to
A pillow wet
Stained scarlet
And tasting of saltwater

Why must I go through this
Every night?
Why must I say goodbye
To my dreams?

Even they are not so sweet
The fearful phantasms
Nocturnally infesting
Are so much kinder
Than the bitter iron
That frames me

Every night I am
Stained scarlet there
But the moment I wake up
Those wounds heal

I just want to hide
Close my eyes
Dive into the lithium

I have no need to breathe
My heart was lost long ago
My senses numb

How could I pay attention
To the air
When all I see
Is this gaping hole in my chest?

Scars surrounding
My chest stained scarlet
The one stain no one can cleanse

Let me give into
Eternal peace stained scarlet.
Is that too hard for you?