Dilemma of the Bilboes

“Lock him in bilboes!” The Lord declared as he looked at his latest prisoner.

“Lock me in bilbies? Why would you ever want to do that?” The prisoner replied.  “I already know you’re heartless, I mean look at this.” He motioned to the bags under his eyes. “There was a tap dripping all last night you really should get a plumber. But to lock me in a poor little animal, now isn’t that just being mean to it.”

The Lord glared at him disdainfully.

“I said bilboes you idiot.”

“Oh,” the prisoner looked around. “Where are you keeping them? Because they really need fresh air, and a lot of good earth to bury into. It didn’t dig through your pipes did it, because that drip-“

“Bilboes!” The Lord screamed. “Bilboes for your ankles.”

“Why would you want to put bilbies around my ankles, I didn’t realise they stretched that well. Actually mind you that wouldn’t be such a bad idea, my ankles are feeling a little stressed it would be good to soften things up a bit. Would you mind giving me one for my head? Oh but that might be a bit too cruel, just two bilbies for the ankles then.”

The Lord’s face had been going red, his fat stout body couldn’t handle someone talking back to him the way this prisoner did.

“Bilboes, can’t you hear, bilboes!”

“I can hear just fine, I’m not too sure you can hear properly though you keep repeating yourself. You’re telling your men to lock my ankles up in bilbies. Now come maybe you’re stalling because you’ve lost the bilbies, are they out in the garden do you need to catch them. I’ve heard a carrot works, or maybe that’s just with rabbits I’m really not too-“

“Shut up!” The Lord, now redder than a tomato, stood up and stormed up to the prisoner.

“I said bilboes!”

“Yes sir bilbies, now really you could lose some weight, have you been eating all the bilbies, is that where they’ve gone?”

The Lord couldn’t take it anymore. With a grunt and a scream he stormed off leaving the prisoner standing there with a smile.

“Oh bilboes sir, I know what you mean now.”

But the Lord had already left the room. 

Reviews

[Tobias H. Reese]

This is one of my favorites I've read of yours so far. I'm seriously thinking of asking a few cohorts to act it out for me to see if perhaps it would be fun to film. Are you familiar with Rowan Atkinson? In my mind I see him playing the part of the prisoner. haha. Not that I could cast him in aaaaanything in any of my small-time productions in my wildest dreams but hey...it's fun to imagine. :-)

[Kreative Kana]

Hahaha...I like it very much! This is so funny and creative. Good job!