A Blue Day.

Today is a blue day, 
My mind, my thoughts, all so blue. 
A day my character I conceal and contain.
A day my personality I wear and maintain. I act nice, I smile, I lie.
I happily listen to bullshit I wont buy.
I kill my demented thoughts; I silence my loud mind..
So blue, So blue all around.
Is it just me or the world that isnt sound.
The species that got away, that evolved to stay. 
Those who betrayed nature, those who broke the food chain.
They call me a human, a species born for gain.
With no one to challenge with no one to blame.
We needed ‘things’ to own, we needed ‘things' to claim; of our own predator we became. 
To divide ourselves we never abstain. 
I know, I know; I should be quite. 
A blue day, so blue it's right. 
But inside I suffocate and die. 
Unlike you, your species I deny. 
Physically I need to breathe and survive.
So blue, So blue..
It is; 
But yet so RED all inside.

Author's Note

Do not just read; feel.

Reviews

[JayG]

I see what you're trying to do, but you're being held back because you're focused on rhyming at all costs, even if you have to twist the language, or force in an out of place line you hope no one will notice.''

When you say, "A day my personality I wear and maintain." for example, you're rearranging the words to make it rhyme, but it's not natural speech.

The thing about structured poetry is that the rhyme should feel almost accidental, because the word chosen is the perfect one for that thought.

In general structured poetry is just that, structured. The number of beats, or feet, to a line is constant. Where the rhyme comes, too, is a constant. The feel of the words, so far as stressed syllables, too, matters.

One of my favorite examples of this is Robert Service's, The Cremation of Sam McGee, which you can find here: http://www.wordinfo.info/words/index/info/view_unit/2640/?letter=C&spage=26

Notice that there is both a primary and secondary beat, and that ticks along like a metronome.

For how he does it, a great resource is the excerpt on Amazon from Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less traveled.

Hope this helps.