Golmyn's Army Pt. 1

No longer will the traitor king be banished.

The snow had become a fierce blizzard. The breeze speckled with flakes of snow had now become powerful gusts of hail and frozen ice. The ground had become near in-traversable and the howl of the wind near unbearable. The sight of the ancient bunker rose hopes for a moment, but the unrelenting gale tore through every body present on the field.This was once their land. The land of the dwarves. Their greatest heroes had delved miles upon miles in this land.  But no longer after their forefathers were drove out by the sentinels and their overpowering mechanical apparatus. No longer after every descending kin in the homeland was wiped clean off the face of Divin.

The winter had grown strong, and the Blasted Lands proved unrelenting, however the armies of the Dwarves pushed forward. This was the last push, the final push. To drive the sentinels out, or end their entire race with one fell swoop. This was the day that they would claim glory or be cleaned of their banishment. They trekked the Blasted Lands for months from Narza, and hadn’t wasted a single coin on anything that wouldn’t feed, kill, or destroy. Great war machines were fashioned by the Pesiry and now pushed forwards with the Dwarves. This was the day that Bound Keep, would return to the Dwarves as it once was: dirt and stone.

The ground shook from the feet of the army, every Dwarf below the Blasted land now stood at the porch of Bound Keep. Their faces cold, but determined; their stance damaged, but unmoving; their fate at hand, but just out of reach. This was Golmyn’s army, the traitor of the dwarves now sought out to reclaim his honor, and return his people to his homeland. Golmyn turned his fiery beard to his army, rose his blazed axe in the air and with the voice of a thousand men shouted through the valley; louder than the frozen blizzard, louder than the crashing seas, louder than the erupting volcano.

“For honor! For Glory! This is not just for the bricks and steel that our forefathers called home! This is not just for the Gems and Riches they conjured out of the earth below! This is not just for the accomplishments of  dwarves from every era in history!

This is for every kinsmen that was taken from us! This is for every child who can no longer have their future! This is for every wife who cannot kiss their husband! This is for every child who died in complete terror! This is for every dwarf who had to bear witness to the atrocities of the Armor-Bound Sentinels! Don’t you dare fear their name! Don’t you dare hesitate to take their lives instead of our own! This is not about taking the homeland as our heritage right, this about avenging every lost voice! Dwarves aside me! Charge!”

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Deep within Bound Keep, electricity shot through the bodies of the animate dead. The sound of mechanical gears began to turn beneath the sand of the Blasted Lands. The sentinels had awoken. The sentinels were still alive. And the sentinels were thirsty.

Reviews

[Isemay]

Ooh! I like this. This is an excellent start to something bigger. There are only a few of things I can see to comment on.

You have the same tendency I do to phrase things oddly/archaically on occasion. And you really like the word "this". Repeating words become noticeable.

"This was Golmyn’s army, the traitor of the dwarves now sought out to reclaim his honor, and return his people to his homeland." I had to read this sentence through more than once to make sense of it. You may consider rephrasing it and polishing it a bit.

[Asha]

Agreed. Thank you.

[Uyen Yang]

what a nice read. Totally into the whole fantasy realm of this ! great !

[Asha]

That's exactly what I was looking for. Soon I'm going to write on some of the harder to understand parts of this world and see how people like them and how they react. I'm trying to see if it's worth my time to dedicate energy to this. This will be a big challenge writing out this world.