Envy (Seven Deadly Sins Series)

The world could grovel at my feet

Gift me with trinkets rare and sweet;

Yet I rebuke with bitter frown

As I aspire to watch you drown.

                                      

Your fortune tears at my being,

Retching from what I am seeing.

Provoked to beat you, steal your crown

As I aspire to watch you drown.

 

Green eyes will slice your privilege

And see you suffer, this I pledge -

If nothing else will pull you down,

As I aspire to watch you drown.

 

Orbs stitched shut, cruel penalty

Blackness now the one scene I see

Clawing at sockets, blood runs brown

As I aspire to watch you drown.

Author's Note

I have challenged myself to write one poem for each of the Seven Deadly Sins, and to use a different form for each. Here is Envy in the form of a Kyrielle. Suggestions? Comments?

Reviews

[Blogger]

I had to read this a few times to really get into it. This one is full of important stuff. The Kyrielle is very impressive, especially since it works here. I love the photo since it helps to make this one deeper and more important. The reference to drowning is significant and literal too since its intense and so very final.

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you my friend, this one was intense to write because of how much the sin really wants to see others in misery, not themselves happy. Glad you enjoyed it.

[Blogger]

Good point! I once had a 'friend' who i realized was actually happy when things were not going well for me. I hated that! We are no longer friends. Thats terrible to enjoy the misery of others.

[Ashira Macy]

Haha, yeah they don't sound like a good friend at all.

[Blogger]

I told him that he seemed to be more of an enemy to me. He was speechless!

[Ashira Macy]

He probably wasn't aware of it. Sad...

[Arrinae]

Nicely done. Very well written and the choice of words for the repetition fits quite well. Bravo.

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks Kayla, I am so glad you dropped by. =)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this makes me think of richard cory...

"i work in his factory, and i curse the life i'm living and i curse my poverty, and i wish that i could be richard cory"

but then "my mind was filled with wonder when the evening headlines read, richard cory went home last night and put a bullet in his head"
all of my wealth won't buy me health and such....

we might envy what someone else has...but they aren't always as happy as we might think...life can break through all that. and be pretty damn nasty.

[Ashira Macy]

Very well said Jacob. The grass is always greener on the other side. By the time we get there it appears as dried up and prickly as the stuff our own field was made of.

[Lady Glitter]

Quite vicious, as is the sin of envy. May I venture to guess that a Kyrielle is where the last line of all stanzas match? Is that it, and/or is there anything else to this format? I do like the impact of those identical lines.

[Ashira Macy]

Yes ma'am that is part of it. The last line is called the refrain and it is set up as so: aabB ccbB ddbB eebB with the capitol B being the refrain and eight syllables to a line. This was a lot of fun to write, and I agree, the identical lines help to get the message across. I am glad this form worked out well.

[Lady Glitter]

Oh, I see the format now, aabB, etc. Thanks! See you around :)