Ndugu's Farewell

Ndugu's Farewell

A Story by Ashira Macy
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The family bond between two very different worlds.

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Everyone has that one person who touches their life and creates a ripple effect, changing them for better or worse. For many it is a lover, someone you can share your life with, provide for and protect. For others it could be a rival who pushes you to work hard enough to surpass them. The person who changed me was my best friend, Ndugu. At least that is what I named him, though his people called him by a different title.

                I met Ndugu many hunts ago when I was small, still learning my way around Africa’s wild grasslands. Back then I couldn’t tell a wildebeest from a buffalo, so my mother worked with me and my sisters, teaching us all she knew about the savannah and its rules; one of which was to never get close to the distinct rumbling crackle of great metal beasts that men rode in. Another was to avoid the scent of fire, as that meant a settlement was nearby.

                I was my father’s daughter however, and inherited his need for rebellion, for adventure. It is what got him into trouble, and eventually lost him his pride. Still, I was young and brave, adrenaline pumping through me from my first successful hunt, no matter how small that warthog had been. I was flying high, with near a full belly as the leader had turned his nose up at my catch, too insignificant to be worth his time.

                That night when all of my comrades were asleep I prowled off in the darkness, eager to test my skills, without my sisters’ help. I slunk through the grass with developing grace, past my mother and her new mate. I had to check myself before a growl slipped out of my throat. I didn’t care for him, none of my family did, but he was in charge, and nothing could be done about it.

                When I felt far enough away I began to run, still cautious, though not as much as I should have been. There were many things that came out to feed at night that were bigger, stronger, and faster than I was. Looking back now at my own stupidity, it is a wonder I am still alive to tell this tale.

                I began to pant, the exertion getting to me so I slowed and sniffed the air for a trace of any nearby prey. I sneezed and flattened myself to the ground, frozen in place with the hairs between my shoulder blades standing on end. The smoky scent of fire had my heart beating in rapid throbs against my chest. I thought it might puncture its way right through to the open air. I hadn’t been prepared for men. Another warthog or maybe even a small wildebeest… heck, I could have even outrun a hyena if it came down to it! But I had never even laid eyes on a human. Every time those metal beasts had come through the grasslands mother had hidden us behind her, growling at them in warning. The most I had seen was the round appendages they used to move, but that told me nothing of the humans that rode atop them.

                I inhaled again, catching the smell of something unfamiliar and tensed up further. My ears twitched as I heard dried grass crunch from behind me and I thrust myself forward, to become entangled in thick brown vines just moments later; a squeal sounding from my mouth from the surprise. As I struggled and thrashed the vines became tighter, wrapping around my throat as well.

                My panic climaxed when a dark being stepped out from the shadows looking down at me from what seemed like the height of a tree. I gave him my fiercest snarl, hoping he might back away, clawing at my confines with all my might, but they tightened around my neck and I choked.

                “Shhh,” the man whispered, “How did you get out here by yourself little Mtoto?”

                I didn’t understand, not that it mattered. My only response was the wheezing my throat made. I saw something flash in the moonlight and squeezed my eyes closed, going completely limp. If I was going to die this way, at least I could die with dignity. I felt him brush against my back in gentle stokes and then further up, inching his way toward my throat. I clenched my jaw, expecting him to slice into me, but instead I heard a snap and the vine fell away from my neck, allowing me to breathe a huge gulp of air.

                I opened my eyes to find that he was still staring down at me, the whites of his eyes contrasting against his darkened skin. He continued to pat me in light brushes with one of his paws, while the other began working on untangling the remaining vines. He scratched underneath my chin in slow circles, as though he was trying to sooth my skin where the circulation had been compromised.

                I felt my confines drop away at last and scrambled to my feet, and he snatched his paw away, though I wasn’t planning to bite. We gazed at each other for a few more moments before he moved, causing me to twitch. He bared his bright teeth in a playful way and held something out toward me. I sniffed and started salivating; it smelled like buffalo, though there was not moisture on it. I stuck my long tongue out and lapped it from him, imagining he would appreciate not having my sharp teeth anywhere near his skin. I swallowed without chewing, rubbing my face against his leg in a quick motion, and taking off at full speed toward my pride.

                I decided not to tell my mother, being sure to clean myself before I slunk back. She wouldn’t punish me, but she might tell the leader, and I didn’t like the idea of him knowing I broke the rules. As I nestled in next to my sisters my mind wandered back to the man I had met. I was always told to never trust a human, but he had contradicted everything my mother said. He could have easily killed me for sport and sold my pelt or teeth, the fate of my uncle before he was grown. As I drifted to sleep I decided that this human would be worth finding out about and promised to go back the next chance I got.

Hunts went by and I visited the man every night I could, first only watching him from a hiding place in the grasses, though he knew I was there. He would look back at me every now and then and bare his teeth in that happy way. I would yawn in response to let him know I didn’t feel threatened.

As I began to grow larger I became bolder, strutting up to him and batting at his leg in a playful manner. At first he only responded by scratching behind my ears, causing me to purr in delight; but as we got to know each other he changed the game, pouncing on me, or head-butting me when I least expected it. He called me Mtoto and talked to me in animated delight; and though I couldn’t understand everything I began to feel his moods more and more.

Before long I couldn’t imagine what my day would be like if I didn’t get to see him, and chat with him in light growls and purrs. That is when I dubbed him Ndugu. My brother. I had always wished for one despite my surplus of sisters, but the leader didn’t want any other males around the pride. If one was born it was left for dead, or killed on the spot, so there was never a chance. I wouldn’t have expected a human to become that company I craved for, but Ndugu was a kind soul, full of cheerfulness and stories of his travels throughout Africa.

Seasons changed and I grew to my full size, while Ndugu stayed the same. I still went to see him every night, and though he was not always there, he made it whenever he could. I was mature which meant that I could mate, and the leader was eager for my sisters and I. He had been leering at us for many hunts just waiting for us to ripen.

One day it happened, he came with the intention of claiming me as a new mate. I let him sniff at me, a shiver ran up my spine in disgust and thought about my mother’s rules. The leader got to mate with all of the pride’s females. I had accepted that fate at first, but the more I thought about it, the more my stomach churned. I tried to think of anything but him as he mounted me, but his scent assaulted my senses and I couldn’t go through with it. I bucked him off with a powerful kick of my back legs and bolted from our territory, refusing to look back. Rejection meant there was no going back, but I couldn’t let that foul thing take me.

I ran toward our usual meeting spot but Ndugu was not there so I continued on, following his scent as best I could. I would just stay with him, and we could be our own pride. I could hunt and he could protect me from my past. I’ll admit I was not thinking along the clearest lines, but my fear was still in overdrive as I pushed onward. Ndugu’s smell got stronger along with some unfamiliar one, but I paid it no mind. It was possible that he had caught a meal for himself.

I spotted him and slowed, letting out a cheerful roar to alert him of my presence. His head shot up and spotted me, but he didn’t bare his teeth and his eyes looked horrified. I heard a shout from behind him and a smaller human appeared. I thought perhaps it was his mate, and bounded forward again, excited to meet a new family member.

“Mtoto, no!!!” I noticed too late the poacher’s weapon she held and roared again this time in terror.

It happened in a blur of movement. Ndugu threw his arms around me and clutched me tight, blocking her shot of me and my path to her. I couldn’t stop her. She pulled the trigger. The sound of thunder filled the savannah. The air took on the metallic smell of blood and Ndugu’s grip on my loosened, falling to the ground in front of me, red pooling around him.

I didn’t hesitate, lunging at the woman. Not for food, not for survival, but out of pure rage. She didn’t even have the chance to realize the gravity of what she had done as my fangs sunk into her throat, ripping it out like her skin was made of soft grass. I dropped her to the ground and scrambled back to Ndugu, nuzzling his face and licking his wounds, unsure of what to do. He bared his teeth up at me one last time and scratched me under my chin.

“I love you Mtoto,” he rubbed his face against mine, moisture leaking from his eyes before he closed them and fell limp at my feet. I licked his face, begging him to wake up, but I knew he wouldn’t. My brother was gone, and I had abandoned my pride.

                Everyone has that one person who touches their life and creates a ripple effect, changing them for better or worse. Ndugu touched my life and I was forever after labeled a man-eater and outcast on the run. Still, I wouldn’t trade my time with him for all of the peace and security the world could offer me. I loved you too Ndugu, and I still do.

© 2014 Ashira Macy


Author's Note

Ashira Macy
Comments? Suggestions?

If people are wondering Mtoto means baby and Ndugu means brother.

My Review

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Featured Review

Thank you so much for submitting this into my contest! While it wasn't exactly the twist I was shooting for, the ending was far from expected! It was also very beautiful, and very well-written. It brought tears to my eyes.

Again, I thank you for the submission. Amazing story!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

9 Years Ago

Thanks Jade, I am so glad you liked it. =)



Reviews

I like what I've read so far but I haven't finished it. Will be back.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

9 Years Ago

Thank you Shirlena. It is a different style for me, but something I enjoyed.
Shirlena

9 Years Ago

You're welcomed :)
I love the narrative and think it is a wonderful story. There is a difficulty in giving human thought and speech to an aninal. I guess it is like writing dialect. How much is enough and how much is too much? There aren't many models out in the library to choose from; _Watership Down_ comes to mind.

Perhaps you will anthropmorph your lioness differently on a rewrite. There are many ways to do it and all of them have difficulties. I think they may all be fun too.

If I have any real criticism it is for the last paragraph which struck me as unnecessarily didactic.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

9 Years Ago

Thanks for your honest review Delmar. I am glad you enjoyed it and I will look into it when I go bac.. read more
Such a neat story, it gave me a lot of emotions all at once, it was such a great thing. It was mostly sad but I loved that about it, because it kept me loving it and it was written beautifully :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

9 Years Ago

Thank you kindly Unmasked, I am happy it was able to make you feel. =)
This is a great story, Ashira! I love how you told the story of friendship from the lioness' perspective. You did an excellent job of getting your reader invested in the character and really feeling empathy. A very sad ending, but you had me hooked!

One little thing-in the sixth paragraph it should be prey, not pray.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

9 Years Ago

Thank you for your words Sharon, and for finding that mistake, I appreciate it!
Sharon Kim

9 Years Ago

You're welcome! I really enjoyed this story!
It's for sure different from your other works, in a good way.It was a good story. I feel like it should go in a book about values; this story of yours would be a good asset:)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

9 Years Ago

Thanks so much Lyana! It definitely isn't my usual stuff, but I was inspired for sure. =D
This Story made me cry, this was so sad, but so well done. You really know how to write! I'm sure it must be hard to make a lion's thoughts realistic since they think differently then humans. You did a beautiful job in capturing the whole feel of the story. The leader, and the mating, her sisters and how mother reacted to humans. This was a really really sad story...and stories rarely make me cry the way this one did, so congratulations! :')

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

9 Years Ago

Thank you so much Marian, I am so glad that it touched you in this way. I got misty eyed when I was .. read more
Maid Marian

9 Years Ago

It's so sad. Just reading the last part makes me want to cry again, I find death scenes really hard .. read more
Great story! I love how you wrote it and I like how the beginning there is the curiosity of the narrator, and how she comments on how its amazing for her to live to tell the tale. I was intrigued and read on and was pulled in which is very rare for me and short stories! I love the relation and I've always enjoyed reading about companions and/or beasts. Wonderful read and I'm glad I got to read it! :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

9 Years Ago

Thank you so much Rachel, I really appreciate you taking the time to read it!
Look at you branching out.. solid story told well.. I thoroughly enjoyed this.. I like the different perspective that it was told from.. the imagery was rich and story line kept my attention... didn't see any major flaws, might be a little wordy in some spots but overall, well done.... I am impressed ma'am.. nice job:)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

9 Years Ago

Thank you so much April for your kind words, it is always lovely to hear from you. I definitely need.. read more
It is an acceptable risk to have philosophizing be your hook (especially because you book end the story be returning to the same phrasing in the last paragraph.
However, because your first paragraph was a risky hook, your second paragraph needs to be stronger. Right now it is telling. If the family relationships are important, try showing them through dialogue and thoughts while the action pushes the story forward.

Keep writing :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

9 Years Ago

Thank you so much for your honest review. I will go back and see if I can change things around to ma.. read more
C. Rose

9 Years Ago

RR it to me again if you make changes :)
very beautiful written , and very true indeed

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

9 Years Ago

Thank you dear, glad you liked it.

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1033 Views
30 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on August 18, 2014
Last Updated on August 24, 2014
Tags: lioness, sad, goodbye, africa, lion

Author

Ashira Macy
Ashira Macy

Martinez, CA



About
I am 24 years old and just getting back into writing after not using the skill for a few years, so I am a bit rusty. I am excited to share my new work as well as some old with this community and would.. more..

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