",,,Alone
Means she can feel…
Not conceal
The storm in her heart
That once tore
Her world apart..."
I agree that feeling the need to conceal emotions in the presence of others can wreak havoc in a person's life. There's a sorrowful element to this poem, in that the person has not found anyone with which to be real.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thanks so much Sandi,it really is true, which is why we must find those who we can be real with.
Wow, I feel so lonely :( .... I really enjoyed this. I couldn't help but relate it to Frozen but that made even more interesting! Loneliness when captured can be so beautiful! Thanks for this one... :)
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
You are exactly right! Congratulations, not everyone caught my salute to Frozen. =)
",,,Alone
Means she can feel…
Not conceal
The storm in her heart
That once tore
Her world apart..."
I agree that feeling the need to conceal emotions in the presence of others can wreak havoc in a person's life. There's a sorrowful element to this poem, in that the person has not found anyone with which to be real.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thanks so much Sandi,it really is true, which is why we must find those who we can be real with.
its pretty good. by that i mean REALLY good. it kind of reminds me of frozen, but it doesn't take away the poeticness of it. great job! never mind, just realized it WAS of frozen, lol. pretty impressive sum up of elsa's brain
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Glad you liked it! I figured someone of your age had to have seen Frozen. (I am a super Disney fan, .. read moreGlad you liked it! I figured someone of your age had to have seen Frozen. (I am a super Disney fan, so every once and a while I have to get some inspiration from a flick.) I connect with Elsa a lot, so I felt she deserved a little poetry. =)
This is inspired by 'Frozen's' Let it Go, correct? Regardless if it is, it is well written and well put together. The imagery is beautiful, and what made me think of Frozen to begin with. Thank you for sharing!
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thanks Kayla, you are the first person to see the frozen reference in there. Very good observation. .. read moreThanks Kayla, you are the first person to see the frozen reference in there. Very good observation. Glad you enjoyed it!
Why try and improve
you wrote from within
let it be as it is
it reads just fine
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thanks John, that is great to hear!
10 Years Ago
As you build it great
but in the end
just wet in the sand
Then gone
to retur.. read moreAs you build it great
but in the end
just wet in the sand
Then gone
to return as ?
I felt that this piece was for some legendary character- who was banished from the world and cursed not to feel any emotions. I don' t remeber his name but they are normally called dream hunters in greek mythology.The word " alone" is repeated which enhances its impact in making the reader realise how desperately lonely the person is.. the last stanza of nobody there to help her with making us known how sshe misses the warmth of home.The vast strech of snow just adds more charm to the loneliness in this poem. ;)
~Sophy
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you so much Sophy, I am glad this one called to you. You are right, this was written for a leg.. read moreThank you so much Sophy, I am glad this one called to you. You are right, this was written for a legendary character of sorts. =)
10 Years Ago
Yeppee.. glad i am a smart cookie.. ha ;) it was a pleasure
This piece is striking in that it paints an image at first of an entity much like some ancient ice queen that had left the world of man and the loss of love that they had felt. Yet, in the last stanza, in the use of the slang form of "wanna" and bringing into the image, that of a snowman, you really show us that it is the voice of one's inner child, the part that needs warmth, the hand held and the shared footsteps.
Great Poem! I really liked it! =D
Hugs! - Kate
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Hi Kaitlynn, thank you for reviewing this! I am so glad you caught that childish slang in there, tha.. read moreHi Kaitlynn, thank you for reviewing this! I am so glad you caught that childish slang in there, that is a very important element. =)
I am 24 years old and just getting back into writing after not using the skill for a few years, so I am a bit rusty. I am excited to share my new work as well as some old with this community and would.. more..