Distant

I sit in the corner,

Hazel eyes glazed over,

Gazing through yellowed walls.

In and out of focus…

They’re some self-correcting camera lens.

 

It is you that I really see

Swirling around in my head,

Unapologetic and consuming.

Always there,

But you never see me.

 

Your eyes scrape over me,

In one brutal, swift sweep

Tearing jagged, shallow wounds.

I’d prefer a stab...

Then I could be your center.

 

My corner is dark now,

And trance slips away like satin

Plunging me into a fevered sleep.

I am plagued with visions of you,

How you spirit away.

 

Such is the curse of those

Who fall in love with the Distant.

Reviews

[Mari K]

This is a great piece of work. I really like that you were unafraid to show what it really feels like in such descriptive words that tell the reader what a dark and gloomy place this is. Great job.

[Zakari Schmidt]

I'd prefer a stab then I could be your center...I thought that was pretty cool!

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree.
"Such is the curse of those
Who fall in love with the Distant."
Wishes and hope can be stole away with a look. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[hardeep sabharwal]

Last two lines are so touchy, its always nice to read you Ashira, a brilliant read

[Briana O'Connor]

Such a relatable piece you have penned here. I could literally feel the struggle and had flashes of my own experience. The emotion is so gravely real. Very nice write.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

As I read along, a hole opened up inside of my chest
that threatened to never be filled again.
You express yourself with the most passionate words.

[Arrinae]

Well written, Ashira! There is so many different ways we distance ourselves and you've captured them in this poem with gentle ease.

[Delmar Cooper]

The poem is the last line. That line should determine everything that precedes it. Backward planning, so to speak. It is fitting that "distant" has a capital letter. There is more than one sense to distant.

The first stanza is self contradictory. Gaze through walls is improbable, in and out of focus and self correcting are incompatible and eye color is not relevant.

The third stanza is marvelous and you should be proud of it. It recalls an image of a great boat wreck where gigantic slow moving vessels scrape and destroy driven by incredible mass to open seams that seep water into the strongest steel.

[anne]

Ashira, so nice to read you..ts beautiful, amazing..:))

[AaronFreitas]

Beautiful piece Ashira (on a side note beautiful name) I really enjoyed this write :)