Where Hell Resides

A small taste of what one mind believes of hell.

When nothing remains but ashes and dust,

We are only but shadows.

Beneath the fiery gate we lay.

The rights of your passage renounced on that day.

The light that we had, reflected in ashes.

Nothing but ashes.

 

It's where power and hatred collide it resides.

Resisting means death, we've no choice to abide.

Repression of faith, your salvation denied.

Abandon your hope where hell resides.

 

The furious dust settles from a fierce past.

Memories are lost withing time.

The hellfire burns bright with the coals of despair.

The implement torture's beyond all compare.

The life that we lived, reflected in ashes.

Nothing but ashes.

 

It's where power and hatred collide it resides.

Resisting means death, we've no choice to abide.

Repression of faith, your salvation denied.

Abandon your hope where hell resides.

Reviews

[Blade & Blood (The ..]

This is one of the most perfect description of how people (conservatives, mostly) see Hell. Remembering that you, my friend, are conservative (if I'm remembering correctly), you are very talented at expressing your viewpoints on paper. Pure torture, lost memories, hopelessness: you've pretty much got everything here.

I must say that favor the chorus (...or at least, I think it's a chorus). When it comes to how you get into Hell, that's almost exactly how people believe it to be. Rebel and you're gone. Some say that it's the only sin that God does not forgive, but I am confident in saying that God loves us too much to deny our apologies... Sorry for getting religious on you, but how can't I? This was a very excellent piece and I enjoyed reading it very much. What you wrote just felt so familiar to me, and I cherish that welcoming tone of yours any day.

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood

P.S. As a liberal Catholic, I'll let you in on a little secret: You can totally escape from Hell (that is, if it exists)... that's why some Catholics believe that it's Purgatory... Can you believe that?

[Nik Dendera]

The first stanza could be seen as slightly off but you've repeated the same thing on the third stanza, so its intentional and not because you couldn't make it fit. And it works if you read it carefully.

Great piece, very vivid in its intensity and you've captured what you think hell would be like. Its very goth in its style, if I may say, and that really enhances the piece. I've read a lot of Hell based poetry and most have failed to really draw me in (most come across as repetive and dull) but this has some serious potential. May I suggest adding some length to it? I know you said its just a small taste, but I can't help but think of Milton's Paradise Lost with this and by adding more to it, you could have yourself a prog-rock mini marvel.

Great write.

[Clouded in Hopeful Illu..]

Intense.
I like it.

You seem to be going for the rhyme theme but your first verse is off. The first two sentences don't rhyme and it throughs me off of what you are talking to. It losses it's flow and I get side-tracked.

Overall, I think you did a great job.