Closet Emo Work: Begotten

Work that I'm ashamed of, but still sharing for those of you who enjoy this style of writing. Open to review only.

 

To see me now, you would not know.

You couldn’t tell what is wrong.

Only if you’ve lived it, would you know, for you’ll never be the same.

When the pain has ceased, the trouble starts.

The hurt has left its mark.

The pain is great.

You want it dead, yet it goes on and on.

For now the age has come at last.

You’ve expected it to stop.

It endures on forever.

You cannot let it go.

You try to make yourself forget, but in your mind it stays.

The sharpness of the knife you take could slit a paper in two.

Your soul is feeling paper thin.

You just want it to stop.

The fountain flows as your wrists explode into a red river below.

Polluted and forgotten your mind slowly drifts away.

The end is near.

You feel fear, as you drift into blackness.

Reviews

[Vatsayayana]

Yes, nothing to be ashamed of as stated below.
This is powerful and explodes off the page.
Perhaps a lesson learned, something not forgotten.
But the essence, the point, the power, is too move forward.
Never forgetting, but learning. Never stagnant, but ever moving.
This flows beautifully and it literally screams, "Look At Me!"
I love the call in this, the voice.
Wondrous.

[Vee]

Wow "Morgan" Not gonna lie i never thought you'd write something like this. its not bad. hmm it doesn't really flow well though id work on that other than that its fine.
-sXd

[KEi]

I found the title funny.
"Closet Emo": I know a few of those.

The peom itself is good, if depressing. It flows nicely. it's eloquent.
Just because it's dark and such, doesn't mean you should be ashamed of it.
D:

[[untitled]]

This is great. Don't be ashamed of this!! This is a tough subject to write about I like the way you did it. Very good.

[AK]

No need to be ashamed. Some of the best writers I've read here have similar pieces. My "Of Course My Dear" is equally dark, yet it was only an exercise, a challenge. While this isn't where most of us normally go, it is interesting to write from (or with) a different perspective.

[Dark Daughters]

This wasn't something to be ashamed of, but then we all have our stuff we are ashamed of.