When the Light Turns Grey

Leaving a letter to the person I love; going through the aftermath of being a Non-Protected War Veteran looking at forgetting painful pasts and trying to love in the now to lead to a beautiful future

When the light turns grey, I will have my way

Leaning towards away from stormy days

Then here that I can call my own, 

Bringing home

The larger of the money cake... 

 

Yet, when your memory of me fades, 

And you don’t trust me in those days, 

And you question what I say, what

Then I should’ve said to those 

Dark and gone days; where I no longer get 

Questioned in what was done in those days....

 

As I try to level head, and give it what was said

Staying true to what we said, I may or may not pray

 

When the memory of me lasts only for one hymn, 

Hope that doesn’t shine in sin, I breathe

Asking only empathy from you to me...

 

Then kneeling And you look at me and smile, and you’ll have 

Me for a while, without anyone in the crowd, 

Of 7 billion people loud, supposedly we found

Each other at the kitchen cooking without sin... 

 

Then you’ll call and call again, and 

Your phone will only ring, to another money call

I guess you say the freelancers’ way...

But did you for once walk in the shoes of the person

That you shoo cause everyone said, 

Not him... 

 

So you merry up along, and your younger

For the song, and you know you won’t tag along 

With him... 

 

But my memory is grey trying to forget the hurtful days, 

And institutions that outweigh my mouth and what I’ve seen 

 

When my memory turns grey I look forward to today, to 

Relinquish another yesterday, forgetting what was 

Said to hurt another breath, I sit here with my breath

Knowing what I said, to all, and what came next
22 days again in a place I can’t forget, but you 

Question what’s in my head, sometimes when you get upset,

Thinking it’s a place I don’t regret...

 

Maybe not having proof, but just the blue rooms

You won’t forget, doctors saying 9% at best

And the memory of my past, and the ghosts after those bombs

 I’ve left, follow me per room, cause it’s something maybe you

Put me on to.. 

 

Maybe God will only heal the things you and my family

Claim are not real, only seeing a child who’s brain is filled

With childish dreams that are unreal

About 17 years I lost to a world that’s hidden

Inside of the truths I see that lie on tv... 

 

Your friends and family saying
Don’t follow the dreamer I guess 
who still has yet not been

Or lived... 

 

And not only being that my favorite color is grey, 

But the fond memoirs and memories of you I 

Don’t shy from or hide away, 

Looking forward to overriding anything lost

yesterday, cause memories I wanna have today, 

That last more than some one telling me 

What I can or cannot live today... 

Tomorrow I understand, livingly living

To no longer die another day...

Happy & Un-drugged and Old I hope

You’ll remember me when I pass...

When I pass forever more

Whenever that happens

Whenever that day comes, 

Cause your memory in my mind

is loved all the time, 

Living nightmares I left behind, 

And I am sorry for this unkind, 

Yet beautiful new, forgetful today....

Author's Note

not sure of any grammar issues, but hope it's a good read

Reviews

[Kesch (Finding Julia)]

Such am deep, emotional read, i could feel this tug. Awesome write