On Being Mortal

 

Life sucks sometimes,
dreaming, planning your future,
but it doesn’t work.
It’s not so easy.

You can’t have your cake,
much less eat it.
There is always something in the way,
or someone.

Grand designs die with a whimper.
You do what you can
with what you were given –
not much.

My lottery tickets never win,
the numbers never come up.
I have to work for it all now,
but I’ve grown lazy.

I wish I’d laid a foundation,
shook the right hands,
greased the right palms,
slept with the right ... men.

That was a hurdle too high for me;
my switch-hitting is limited to baseball.
Maybe I’d be famous now,
in certain circles.

If I’d practised hard,
where would I be now?
It’s prostitution
to get what you want.

I played safe, conventional;
no chances, me – play by the rules.
Don’t hurt, don’t get hurt.
Someone always does.

They say you are as old as you feel,
but who are they?
Young, or blessed with a silver spoon.
Where are they?

I have things to be thankful for,
I know, but the tunnel is getting blacker.
I’m starting over
with no light at the end.

Yet I don’t give up,
it’s all still to play for;
I won’t have time to enjoy the prize,
if I ever win.

Grease those flaccid palms,
buy the ticket,
sleep with ...
no, still not that.

I’m still playing safe,
playing the long game,
but how long is that?
Not long enough.

Reviews

[Leah Simone]

I hear your frustration loud and clear, but let me remind you - integrity, honesty, morals, and ethics are admirable traits in a person; deceit, greed, and manipulation are not. I think a person's ideal ultimate goal
is to become the best person they can be - had you greased palms and slept with the "right men" - you wouldn't be the wonderful person you are. I know sometimes I find myself feeling like - why me? when loved ones pass away or bad things happen - I wonder who has something against me "upstairs", but it is out of those hardships I end up writing some of my best work - or find the strength I never dreamed I had - and I realize - it is NOT getting what I want or having everything work out as I want that has sharpened the things that define who I am - (if lonely- I write, sad - I compose, broke - I stay home and write songs, poems, stories and consequently those "gifts" improve.

I think being able to do something you enjoy -daily, and to see yourself improve over time and to know you have the capacity to improve even as a senior citizen - is a blessing. My grandfather says - a man without a dream - is a dead man - so, do you really want all your dreams to come true? or is it a blessing that you still have dreams for the future?

I know we sometimes write to vent and you don't need a lecture -
I did "feel" you in this piece and wanted to say - "chin up" :-)

[Wildecat]

This sounds like the lives of a lot of us. A very good write a total pleasure to read.

[lowena]

Can i just say that you are not alone. I think as we all grow older, everyone runs these things through their mind. Perhaps you are in a better position now than if you hadnt played it safe.

I liked it very much, as usual you made the reader feel the intensity of the raw emotions.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

Its a wonderful piece. I just loved the way you've poured your emotions and frustration in it..
An awesome read it is!

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

I have felt the same way at times, it's good that you can express these feelings so well. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Alia]

Leah left a lovely review and I can only say I agree with her words and sentiments. There are millions of people who don't have much time to dream because their first priority is getting food and shelter any way they can just so they can live to see another day. Do dreams really die off completely? I find that incredibly hard to believe. It's just something in us, as humans, that's... I was going to say that it's wired, but it doesn't feel like the right way to articulate dreams or daydreams at all. Certain things trigger inspiration and hope... and I believe that if a person loses hope, glints of it still remain, even if it's in the subconscious. To give up? Well, that's sad, because the person never got to wait for the day the glints start to shimmer again. I think I might be straying from my point, which is there is a lot of suffering but people still count their blessings and press on because the alternative is defeat... and we have to believe there is something worth living for. That something is flexible...

If I could make a suggestion, it would be to take another look at your second stanza. To me, it feels like an obvious cliche that could be rephrased to give off more originality. The poem is consisted of simple language and it weaves in and out of things we've heard before, but the more you "weave out" the stronger the impact will be.

Thanks for sharing, Mr. Grumpy.

Alia

[Captain Blackheart (The..]

This is a wonderful write, very reflective. A great piece.!!!

[Thais]

This was a really good piece. You should enter some of your writing in my competitions. Winner's Aren't Everything and The BEst Of January 2008.

Love Thais

[Athena Marie]

This is kind of sad... yet it rings true. Life does suck sometimes! I can relate to the "sleep with... no, still not that." lol. Great job.

[Amor-de-angel]

Don't we all feel this way sometimes? Life seems an inevitable struggle,but there are always choices to be made...
Is playing safe the answer? search inside for that happiness,it's there...waiting to be found.