In pieces

In pieces

A Story by Atosa

I already know how it's going to be. 
I'll wake up one day with the sun shining down 
on me and I'll think that it's going to be a good
 day but it won't and I'll get out of bed and call
 you and you'll be a little weird and I'll think that
 I should cheer you up so I'll bake you a cake or 
write you a song and then you come over with 
stupid tears in your eyes and you break down in 
front of me and tell me that you love me and kiss 
my feet and I'll cry and hold you and I'll think that 
I'm always gonna be there for you but then you 
look up at me and say that you can't do this no
more cause your heart is burning and it's burning 
too much and it hurts and it burns and it aches 
and you can't you can't you can't do this and
there is no f*****g way that you can,

you can't love me no more. 

© 2011 Atosa

Author's Note

First time I ever write something like this, I sort of like this style but I can imagine that some people might not like it. Still experimenting.

My Review

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The style, the words, the simple innocence of such a poem... in the end, it's so sad, and so emotional that I almost cried while reading it. You really get into the mind of the narrator when reading this.

Posted 13 Years Ago

There is so much emotion in those last few lines,
and it's so overwhelming to me, I love it.
I could feel it, the pain and I got emotional myself.

I like this style, keep experimenting.
amazing write.

Posted 13 Years Ago

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2 Reviews
Added on February 23, 2011
Last Updated on February 24, 2011
Tags: heartbreak, love, pain



Stockholm, Sweden


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