I'm not coming back

Dear John

Where I was queen. I'm not anymore.
Where my mind was only on you. Its expanded.
Where you ignored my whimsical thoughts, I've found a responses.
When you said you were done. I wasn't.
When you fell in love with someone else. I lost my mind.
When I saw the smile on your face. I surrendered to the reality.
How could I not hurt after 9-11, 7-2, 7-30?
How could the lines we both crossed be erased?
What moment am I supposed to grasp on to and feel like I did before?
What reason could make me revert into the woman I was?
What cure is it that removes the damage between us?
How could you tell me what I should look like, compare me to every woman you know and expect my self esteem Not to be shot to hell?
How am I supposed to look at you as a protector when you convert to an abuser when you feel it's appropriate?

How do I look at you the same after you hold me back from finding happiness in someone else the way I let you?

How long am I supposed to stay down for a non-titled position after owning the crown and still expected to be everything I was?
I'm not....
Us is now You and I
The fights, anger, pain,tears,the old heart, my upper hand. I'm placing on that pedestal I owned and pray the new queen is worthy of it and makes you a happier man.
This is like dying but pull my cord...
I'm m not coming back...