1...2!........3!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

With Stotan over and season half way through, it was time for one important thing. KITCHEN SINKS!!!!!! At the beginning of season Coach Bart had told us that if anyone could eat three kitchen sinks from colonial he would pay for them himself. If you failed to eat any of the sinks you would have to pay for them yourself. After practice we all headed over to colonial. Some of us were going because we had earned our sinks for making all the Stotan practices and others buying their own food that just wanted to hang out with the rest of us.

I went into colonial with two things on my mind one I was hungry but wasn’t going to attempt the three sinks and two I had to pee slightly, but since I was only eating one sink it wouldn’t matter not being that bad. I sat down across from Jake and next to Jarret and Robertson. And so it began the waiter came out carrying sinks going down the table carrying in two sinks at a time. Unfortunately, I was on the far end away from him so I had to wait and ended up getting mine last.

Jarret declared he was going to take the challenge along with Robertson. The two normally race each other each year trying to be the first to finish. As Jarret and Robertson began to consume, I started into my own sink. It tasted amazing after the workout and I was starving, before I knew it my sink was gone. Having it disappear so fast made me dissatisfied and wanting more. I had finished my sink so fast I had managed to stay in pace with Jarret and Robertson.

Coach Bart turned to the waiter and asked for three more sinks. I asked why three and he said one for Jarret one for Robertson and one for me. I told coach Bart I wasn’t going for the three sinks because I didn’t have any money with me so I wouldn’t be able to pay for them. Bart responded that “I better eat my entire sink then”. The second set came and the three of us pushed on going into our new sinks. Half way through the second sink my need to pee came back tenfold. I froze in the middle of eating and everyone thought I was going to throw up and watched expectantly. Instead of puking like everybody thought. I declared I had to pee and started to get up. Bart then told me if I went to the bathroom now I would forfeit have to pay for my sink.

I sat back down and continued into the sink with renewed purpose. Thinking that the bet was you had to eat all three sinks to not have to pay I continued on getting another sink. Robertson dropped out at two deciding he was done. Shane having finally finished his first had his second coming. Shane ate his second talking on his cell phone and looking very questionably flamboyant the way he held his phone and spoon. He looked some where between trying to look like a "gangsta" holding a gun and a gay man holding a magic wand. Shane ended up also not going past 2 sinks. With Robertson and Shane out it were just me and Jarret left.

The third set came and we started into it. Jarret after finishing his second looked ill, but still forged on anyway not wanting me to beat him. Somewhere between the first third and first half Jarret lost his resolve and gave up. This left just me. Halfway way through, my need to pee finally became so bad I couldn’t take it any more. Coach Joe feeling pity on me convinced Bart to let me go to the Bathroom.

I shot out of there as fast as I could sprinting towards the bathroom. As soon as I got to the urinal I tried to start peeing but couldn’t. I started freaking out having this horrible need to pee, but my body refused to, sort of like when you get so tired you can’t sleep. Got to hate body paradoxes. When nothing came out I decided to abandon the urinal and went for the stall. In the changed position I was able to get relief and quickly headed back so they wouldn’t think I had thrown up. When I arrived having no longer to pee I continued into my third and final sink with renewed vigor. Bart decided to be picky on my last sink so I had to basically lick the bowl clean in order for him to consider me done. At that point I had a very mixed feeling of accomplishment and a stomachache.

I had finally done it I had eaten all 3. Everybody was amazed. Joe wanted a picture so he had me pose holding up the sink. Bart and Jake tried to get me to go for a 4th sink but three was too much I felt queasy and had lots of junk in my throat for all the sauces on the sink.

Both Jake and BJ needed rides home so we walked out of Colonial and headed towards my car to drive them home. As soon as I walked out the door of Colonial the crap in my throat was bothering me so I coughed and out came all the sauces lining my throat. BJ had turned the corner so he didn’t see, but Jake was still there and thought I had thrown up. I hacked up the rest, which was still coming out into the cigarette thing on top of the garbage can. I would have done it into the garbage can, but it was coming out to fast. With that out of my throat I could breathe better and wiped my hand in the snow before heading to my car.

When I got to my car Chris and Coker were driving around the parking lot with their windows rolled down and music blaring. Suddenly they opened their car doors and got out while the SUV kept moving. Chris who had been driving started dancing along side the car. Tom Climbed onto the roof of the car and started dancing on it. After about 20 seconds of that they jumped back into the car and started driving normally again. I think they did it again, for Jake to video tape with his phone, but I didn’t watch I got into to my car because I felt nauseous and needed to sit down. After that we got in the car and I drove BJ and Jake home then headed home, myself, to lie down.

Reviews

[Here's What I Say]

I can see a theme emerging here- male bonding rituals involving stupid stunts like eating three sinkfuls (are you fsckin' kidding me? Ice cream in those big a*s sinks?! Where do I sign up?) of ice cream and setting your pubic hair on fire.

All in all, I had a great laugh. ^_^