Who are you?

A piece I wrote back in 2016

I lay down with you next to me

Can you hear my heart beating rapidly?

I can never describe it, but I sense that you don't feel the same so I give you time

You pull me and stand me up on my feet kissing me

Emotions run through me like a roller coaster

But in your mind you say "I just wanna f**k her"

While in mine I say " I think it's making him happy I hope he doesn't forget about me"

My legs open on the floor and as you go in I feel like I need more

Emotions run deep with every touch and kiss

I look up at you in your eyes, but I start to realize the mask you wear is a disguise.

You're done

You get up and leave me hangin' waiting on me to get dressed

So I sit there stressed thinking about what I did wrong

Was he only wanting me sexually?

Cause when you lay next to me and you hear my heart beating rapidly and hold me close and play with me I can't help but think is this a game?

A game I can no longer maintain

I know myself worth but I don't even put in the work to show who I am anymore

I'm used to being used and I am blinded by likeliness that I don't know what to do

What did I do

How can you

I close my eyes in your bed and cry and the next day I'm by your side reliving everyday with you once again.