Adventures of the Logically Insane

They are a pure kind of insanity and when you are near them long enough, they start to make sense. (A Concept that i am working out, please let me know what you think.)

That was the devil she had been telling The Guardian about. He was the one who tells her where to go and what to get so that she can keep on coming home to her beloved Guardian. Once Birdy is on board with them, they will make one hell of an orgy out of the cops around here.

Marcus was his name. He liked his women young and quiet. This was an important fish for Daddy, so she had her best dress on that resembled something that her sister Alice would wear on her adventures of big and small. She giggled at the thought of being a giant and crushing the daemons. She had her parasol because Daddy likes her face to stay pretty. He likes to lick it. She smirked, licking her lips at that, shaking herself out of that train of thought. Those tracks lead to nothing getting done!

She clicked her knee-high black countess boots and walked forward, nodding at the devil in acknowledgement. “Marcus.”

“Well, well. If it isn’t my favorit crazy.” he said turning to look at her. Marcus was fat but not in an all around fat kind of way, but more of a pregnant man kind of way. The rest of his features were those of a healthy and probably once good-looking 40 year old. He put his hand on her waist in a familiar way and she smiled, thinking about the bad boy points that Daddy was tacking on right now. The higher the bad boy points, the louder the screaming.

“Guardian says that I was not to see you again or he was going to the Chief.” she said, feeling his hand slide to her bum and she flinched, stepping away.

“Guardian hasn’t come out in 10 or 15 years, so excuse me if I don't feel very threatened.” marcus scoffed, rolling his eyes. “For some notorious killer, he is sure shy.” He reached for her again and pulled her to him. She smiled up at him and looked back at her life. Her Sir. Daddy, The Guardian.

“Shy? No...but I am quite selective about when I choose to make an appearance.” Even from behind the lawman Marcus, he could feel the man’s fear and panic rise like an impending wave. The thrill of it always sent a small shiver down his spine. It was a feeling that got that motor running and twitches going. Marcus the the policeman knew that he had crossed the line. Guardian could see him tremble as he walked up to his side, sweat trickling down his brow and a small hitch in his breath, but he was not bothering to waste his sight with Marcus. His eyes were only for his Kitten. He loved the way she bites her lip when he starts his games.

He was incredible to behold. Not because he was large or beefy or even exceptionally tall, but maybe a mere 5’11”. He was incredible because it looked like he had just stepped out of a 1920’s mafia movie. He wore a crisp white collared shirt that buttoned at the wrists. He was sporting a red pair of criss cross suspenders with an attached holster. The man had on black slacks that were not too tight, but not the baggy fashion of today and his shoes were a black toed, white saddle shoe that sparkled with the fresh polish it must have had.

Physically though, he looked like every other normal man walking this green earth. He is, as stated before, around 5’11”, brown longish hair with brown eyes. His smile looked unalarming and he seemed approachable. That is what made him so scary. He could blend with a crowd and not stand out to anyone at all, but kill you without blinking.

“For the most part people keep to their roles and do as they are told without my presence, which allows me to only come out on special occasions such as tonight.” Guardian said.

“What’s so special about tonight?” Marcus asked, keeping his voice as steady as he could, but Guardian could see the effort. Just like he could see him trying to step away to create some distance between them. The lawman thought that made him safe.

“Tonight, Marcus, you have tallied up 123 points. Not to mention the 65 last week, 47 points nine days ago, and 42 the night before that.” Guardian replied, smiling.

“What?” Marcus almost laughed. Out of nervousness or actually thinking he was being humorous, The Guardian didn’t know, but it made him smile brighter as he listened to the cop stutter. “What kind of points are we talking about? How exactly do I get these points?”

“These are ‘Bad Boy Points’, Marcus. I will use tonight as an example of how these points are accrued.” he said, slowly walking around him like a shark circling its prey. “You’ve looked at her longer than necessary three times tonight, earning you three points there. You put your hand on her waist, earning another 20 points. Going after her bum got you another 40 points. It would have been more, but she saved you.” Guardian looked at his Kitten and she smiled sheepishly, loving how much he saw.

“She knew that allowing it would have crossed a line, and my Kitten knows not to cross that line. And the last 60 points were earned when you pulled her to you after she clearly stepped away from you. You will learn to be more respectful.” said Guardian. Kitten licked her lips, anticipating the fatal blow, so to speak.

Guardian finally looked back at the cop to see that he no longer thought it was funny. He was back to panicking. The smell of fear was wafting off of him like bad intentions. “I...I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I WASN’T thinking!”, said Marcus, panic turning to hysteria.

“You’re too tense and stressed, Marcus.” he said, patting a hand on the cops shoulder. “Take the rest of the night off to relax a little.” said Guardian.

“I don’t understand…” Marcus said, confused.

“It’s quite alright. I forgive you for what you’ve done tonight. We can talk tomorrow and perhaps come to some sort of arrangement.” He looked at his Kitty and she had her gaze on him, jaw dropped and a look of disbelief plane as day on her face, but he continued. “Maybe you get her some nights and I get her others? My mother taught me to share.” Guardian said calmly.

“I think we could make that work.” replied Marcus.

“Wonderful. You get home safe and have a great night. See you tomorrow.” Guardian said, ending the conversation and allowing Marcus to walk out the door.

As soon as he was out of ear shot, his Kitten was looking back at him with a large grin on her face. She started to bounce slightly on her toes and clapped her hands together. “Oh Daddy, what game are we playing? Can I come?” she begged, getting to her knees, looking up at him with pleading eyes. “Please, Daddy, please let me play!”

He cocked his head to the side and smirked, dragging his thumb along her jawline and placing it in front of her mouth. “Now what kind of Guardian would i be if i didn’t include my kitten in a game of cat and mouse?”

She kissed the tip of his digit and grinned up at him. “You already started, didn’t you?” she didn’t wait for an answer before she squealed with excitement, spinning her parasol as she popped back up to her feet.

He lovingly takes her hand and pulls her along as they walk. “Come, let’s go see, shall we?”

Marcus drove in shock. He was practically driving on autopilot. No one has ever upset The Guardian and survived. Marcus’ hands were still shaking from the encounter, he was sure he was going to be a dead man when he heard the voice come up from behind him.

The man was rumored to have wiped out an entire town when he was just 19. He shook his head, still in disbelief, as he pulled up to his large family home. He was counting his blessings and ready to love his wife and kids a little harder tonight in appreciation of the gift that Guardian gave him.

His home was like most others on the street. Very cookie cutter and had a modern vibe to it. He liked it, but didn’t really much care for the details. That was his wife jennifer’s area. She insisted on the big kitchen and large master and bathrooms for both children so that they didn't fight. The tv was going in the living room, like usual and it smelled like something delicious was cooking in the kitchen. “Jennifer?”

There was an envelope on the mail table by the door addressed to him and he picked it up, looking towards the kitchen. “Man, jennifer. You wouldn’t believe the day that I had! Seriously, I am a changed man!” he was saying as he pulled a plain white piece of paper out of the envelope. He looked at the paper and read the one sentence that was on it.

His blood ran cold. He read it again, this time, aloud. ‘In the spirit of sharing . . .’

He looked towards the kitchen again and gulped. “Jen?”

He slowly walked forward, glancing into the living room as he walked by, seeing no one in there, just the T.V on. “Justin? Sam?”

As Marcus entered the kitchen, he saw his family sitting at the table, all just staring at each other. “Guys?”

A quick look around showed him exactly why he was the biggest fool that ever walked the planet. Sitting on the counter was Roxanne. Her knees were apart and between them stood Guardian, his back was to Marcus and it looked like he was worshiping Roxanne with the gentle touch to her cheeks and the soft whispers. She was biting her lip and nodding, her eyes were only on him.

“Sit down, Marcus, we saved you a seat.” Guardian said, suddenly spinning around to face marcus and gesturing to the open seat that was between his kids and across from his wife. “We are going to play a little game that I like to call “Truth or Choose”. The rules are simple. I ask Marcus questions. He can either tell the truth in front of his family. If he does not answer truthfully, he will have to choose which one of you gets the pain. If he doesn’t choose someone, you all get the pain. Now Marcus, you can’t choose yourself to receive the pain. I need you to stay sharp so that you can continue answering truthfully. Are there any questions before we get started?”

Looking around at the faces of everyone at the table, no one was willing to meet his eyes. “What is the pain that you’re talking about?” Sam asked.

“Well Samantha...may I call you Samantha?” Marcus continued without waiting for an answer. “My little Kitten here is going to attach an I.V. to you, your brother, and your mother. The pain will come when one or all three of you are injected with spirytus, the strongest alcohol sold in the United States. It will feel like your blood is lava coursing through your veins. There is also only so much alcohol that the body can take, so too many doses will result in death.”

There was a silence that hushed over the room as the four family members looked at each other in fear. Samantha’s hands started to shake and Jennifer started to quietly sob. The son, Justin however, glared at the two intruders. Guardian looked over at his little Kitten as her tisks sounded like shouts in the quiet room.

She poked the boys head. “I can see the thoughts in your head and I feel the bad ideas coming to ruin our fun.” she cooed, right next to his ear. “Don't play dirty or you don't get to play at all and Daddy doesn’t have so much fun.” she said giving a dramatic fake pout while inserting his I.V.

Guardian smiled and nodded. “What my lovely Kitten is trying to convey is that if any of you try to get the bright idea to act out against the rules, you will be the direct cause of an immediate death of one of your other family members.” His Kitten inserted the other two I.V.s as he talked.

As The Guardian looked over at Marcus, he could see that he was almost panting in fear and panic, sweat dripping down his head. “Whoa now, calm down big fella.” Guardian said cheerfully, giving him an amiable pat on the shoulders. “All you have to do is tell the truth and you get to save your whole family’s lives! It has never been made so easy to be a hero!”

Marcus swallowed hard, knowing that there was no way out of this. “What do you want to know?” he asked.

“Question number one: Are you a good cop?” asked Guardian.

“Yes, I’m a good cop. Replied Marcus.

“We’ll see just how true that is by the end of the game.” said Guardian. “Have you ever had one of your arrestees commit crimes for you?

“What kind of question is that?! What are you talking about?!” said Marcus.

“It’s the kind of question that you need to answer truthfully if you don’t want to bring suffering to your family.” answered Guardian.

“I may have done it in the past, but I won’t do it anymore.” Marcus said.

“Do you know the definition of ‘W***e’?” Guardian asked smirking at Kitten who raised her hand, waving it around like an impatient school girl.

Marcus frowned, his eyes darting to his wife and daughter before nodding. “Someone who has loose morals.”

Kitten frowned, dropping her hand dramatically.

“Would you call yourself a w***e?” Kitten leaned in close to watch his reaction, tapping on the daughter’s shoulder and whispering to her. “This is going to be good, watch!”

“No! Why would I?” replied Marcus.

“That was your first lie, Marcus.” Guardian said, wagging his finger at him. “Now you have to choose. Who gets the pain? Who should we watch die tonight?”

“I can’t choose. Please, don’t do this!” Marcus said, desperately. “I confess that I’ve done some things that I shouldn’t have, Please! Please don’t make me choose!” he was pleading with Guardian, but looking at his wife, who had stopped sobbing and was just staring at her husband in disbelief.

“I’m not hurting your family, Marcus.” Guardian said simply, as if stating an interesting fact that he read earlier. “You are, by being a liar. Now choose, or they all get the dose.” Kitten started skipping around the table, touching each of their head chanting “Who's the goose?”

After her third time around, she stopped on Justin’s head and licked his cheek, looking at his father. “Mmm he tastes so virginal. Maybe you should choose him, seeing how you like little girls and women and all. No use for him, then you can have the other two all to yourself!” She said, truly excited about this helpful revolation.

“I...I can’t make that kind of choice.” said Marcus.

“You just did. Give all three a taste, Kitten.” Guardian said.

Pouring the bottle to fill two shot glasses, she picked up two syringes and emptied one of the shot glasses by filling them. The second shot glass, she drank, laughing through the pain of fire, burning down her throat, making each following breath feel like she was breathing pure flames. She looked at Marcus and laughed as he continued to pointlessly beg her to stop and walked over to the family sitting at the table. The children have joined their father in begging for their lives but the mother now sat calmly, staring at her husband, no expression on her stoic face.

“Okie dokie family, here comes the good stuff.” she said cheerfully, pushing the first needle into the injection port of the IV tubing where all the lines connected. Then she waited, eagerly watching each of their faces for the liquid fire to reach their veins. She could tell from their cries and alarmed screams that the pain was instant and intense. Marcus had a look of shame and horror on his face as he sat there and watched his wife and children suffer. When the noise died down, Marcus looked more defeated than the others did.

“Are you ready for question number two, Marcus?” Guardian asked.

“Go to Hell.” Marcus said softly, tears dripping down his cheeks.

“I’m already in Hell, Marcus. Your Hell, to be exact. I’m the ruler here, Marcus. This is your kingdom that you created and it’s about to get even more twisted if your decide to have some more amnesia of convenience again.” said Guardian.

“I’ll cooperate! Please just don’t hurt them again!” pleaded Marcus.

“Excellent! On to question number two, then. How many girls have you touched inappropriately?” asked Marcus.

Marcus shook his head in a loss. “I didn’t keep track of how many!”

“I don't want to hear this.” Jennifer spoke up, her speech slurring with the hastened effects of the alcohol. “I don't want to know how many other women were better than me.”

Marcus opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by Roxanne. “Sweetheart, ain’t none of those other women were better than you. Just because a piece of s**t rubbed off on someone or something else, doesn't mean it was too good to miss your shoe.”

Marcus turned on her, his face contorted with rage. “B***h, don’t you speak to my wife! Don't you corrupt her with your crazy bullshit. This is all your fault!” he seethed irrationally, ready to blame anyone and everyone for the rage and shame he was forced to feel. “You brought this into my life! This is your fault!”

The second his mouth stopped moving, he had realized the gravity of the mistake that he made. It happened fast. So fast that no one saw it coming. The potato peeler that had been sitting on the counter, ready to be used for the nights supper, was in Guardians hand and he was walking across the room with purpose.

Marcus saw the intent in Guardian’s eyes and stood, making a move to stop him. Roxanne was on him in a second, gripping his hair hard and slamming his head to the table with a tight grip on his wrists, wrenching it behind her in a typical self defense passive hold. Marcus was forced to watch in horror as, without being deterred at all with what Roxanne and Marcus were doing, Guardian brought the potato peeler down into Samantha’s ear, jerking her out of the chair and slamming her head down inches from her father's. He made sure to twist the peeler, as to insure to sever the carotid artery.

“SAMANTHA!!” He screamed for her uselessly, as she gurgled a little and her eyes stared back at him lifelessly. Her long blonde hair that touched the table was slowly turning more and more red as blood trickled out of her mouth. Marcus could only watch in numb shock as Guardian reached over and closed her eyes, then stood straight and looked back at the table.

Jennifer was making a gasping, choking, sort of sobbing noise, but without the tears. She was now holding her son’s hand tightly, pulling him to her. The son was stone faced, not looking at his fallen sister, but at his father, as silent tears ran down his impassive features.

Guardian looked right at him and back at Marcus. “I think we have all learned a valuable lesson today.” he said matter of factly. “Respecting women is so important. I mean, your beautiful Samantha wouldn’t be gone right now if you had just kept your greedy hands off the girls and stopped grabbing at the woman that you were supposed to be an authority figure for!”

He walked over to Marcus and his chin tightened and jerked to the side slightly, as if he were suppressing some physical reaction that was taking all of his will power to control. He picked the cop up by his hair and brought his head level with his own. “The next time you talk to my Kitten like that, Marcus, I will not be so lenient.”