11 Years ago

A poem I wrote when I was 11... I believe it is a very interesting thought- quite dark for that age. Warning: incredibly cheesy rhyming awaits.

My parents told me this scary story,.

which happened few days before me

After that day 11 years later,

it stung my memory like a bee.

 

The story was, when my mom was cooking,

she heard a loud crash,

followed by screeches and screams,

lives were lost in a flash.

 

That vehicle was a school bus,

and it tragically hits.

All the parents' hearts,

were broken into bits.

 

11 years later,

I went out when it was bright.

Time flew by quickly,

and soon it was night

 

I waited by the bus stop,

not creating a big fuss.

When I finally realized,

that I had missed the last bus

 

I called by a payphone,

and let my mom know.

My mom started to panic,

and then it began to snow.

I stood there waiting,

 my legs screramed for a rest.

then I just started walking,

and hoped for the best

 

Suddenly a bus came rushing at top speed.

I waved as it flew by,

then i heard the brakes,

which gave a loud sigh.

 

I jumped on aboard,

and saw that it was full.

I looked for a vacant seat,

it felt like steel wool.

 

I looked around me,

and felt a sudden chill.

Colder than outside,

everyone was dead still.

 

"Can I open the window?"

I asked the boy sitting beside.

By not moving or blinking,

is how he replied.

 

I asked a little louder,

those eyes caught me in a net.

The cold face draining me,

a face I will never forget.

 

I started feeling sick,

everyone giving me a menacing stare.

Then I heard a unison scream,

the horn started to blare.

 

I woke up 5 days later,

on a hospital bed.

My mom told me,

that i was nearly dead.

 

"You had walked off a cliff,

that horrible night.

An inoccent farmer saw you,

and screamed with fright."

 

They still say they are bored,

about that thing that happened 11 years ago.

People call me crazy,

but that day, I know,

I was a passenger on board.

Author's Note

Again, grammar is horrible, but I would like to see how people interpret it. This was 5 years ago so I have absolutely no clue what I was thinking and I myself get confused when I try to understand what I was trying to convey in this poem. Thoughts?

Reviews

[anna.j]

I like it! Very haunting feel. The one thing I would say about rhyming poems is try not to let the rhyme dictate what you do. Try to alternate maybe with off-rhymes and don't change your plot just to fit the rhyme. Often it is possible to find work arounds which feel very natural.

Nice work!