Poor mans identity theft

In an hour or less of experience.

I like to go to the store all the time, its a great way to get out of the house and pick up some snacks. Unless they don't have what I want, I typically leave the store with something in hand. And so it goes. I deal with it all the time, people following me around working on psychiatric damage and suicide to steal someones name. From germans, to africans, to middle easterners even a few russians, its the same s**t. Even famous actors do it, which is just as disturbing, I guess they sell everything, including peoples names, the pressure they must be under is unreal for them to attack fans, but it happens. Anyways, back to my story. so there I was, walking around walmart having a short conversation with a friend that looks exactly like the dark haired bad guy from the fifth element, stating that I was looking for work. As I spoke, a beautiful african woman with curly hair repeated everything I said. Typically its illegal immigrants that do that and that person was a cashier, poor store manager, doing that kind of thing is illegal beyond belief, with the threat of deportation looming, these people will become vile. The booming industry of identity theft, what a gas. There was a blonde woman walking around with bohemian pants I had seen on facebook for 8 dollars from china with a male I had seen the day before as I went through physical therapy outdoors. A very attractive male with blue eyes, well built, shouting no like a rabid lunatic on a streetcorner. Well, the strange couple walked around walmart as I shopped, my guess is they're german. Anyways, I took my selection to the cashier a sweetheart of a guy who seems to be always smiling through the workday, which is nice to see instead of the psychotic looks from the other store employees. Many times, saying hello to them only makes them walk faster away from you, their way of trying to get you into their life so they can kill you for yours, etc, etc. So I walked out of the store, behind my car was parked the worst oldest piece of s**t dark aqua van with the paint falling off, as I put on my seat belt I started pulling out of my parking space, all of the windows were humid so I didn't notice that i had pulled too far back and hit the piece of crap car. I pulled away stunned by what I had done and got out of my vehicle, apparently I had done a good thing because the blonde woman with the blue eyed built male were the owners of the car and didn't have anything in their hands. They had gone into the store to stalk naturalized citizens to steal their id. There was no damage their crappy ride but I secretly wished I had put a gash the size of the marianas trench in the back of their car when I found out who they were and what they were doing. As it is, the stores security cameras picked up the whole event, which in the end, gives me the biggest smile ever. 

2/7/2017

Author's Note

Deadly assholes.

Reviews

[David R Gonzalez]

Interesting. It was a nice way to tie in the current political atmosphere without taking a political stance ( a seemingly impossible task to accomplish). I feel like the narrator was under the influence of drugs or a self imposed psychosis. In any case it is a good read.

[Kasey Nichole]

This was a very interesting read. I was captivated the entire time while reading it and I really enjoyed. Great job.