Lost Cause.

This is a story of a man who society would call a lost cause.

"What is this I feel?"
I whispered all alone,
I was once again out on my own,
I dug down my heel,
My heart turned to steel,
I wanted to moan,
My soul full of stone,
My life was surreal.

I had become obsessed,
No time to react,
Hidden thoughts of violence,
I was depressed,
The emotion I lacked,
And then...silence.

Author's Note

The rhyme scheme is abbaabba cdecde. Please review with any of your likes or dislikes for this poem! thank you!

Reviews

[DrummerBrian95]

First off, I am very new to writing and not an expert at all, so don't expect a really in depth critique from me. But, I do like this. I felt it was too short, but it made its point, and did it pretty well. I was reminded of the lyrics to the song Fade To Black by Metallica, which is a very good thing, because that is a timeless classic of a song and easily one of the greatest power ballads of all time. If you had managed to get maybe another stanza in, my score could possibly be an 80 instead of a 70, but in this case, short is sweet.