Almost Suicide Note

Forgive me, as I take this leap.

Off the bridge and into ice cold water.

I wonder what it feels like,

To have your lungs fill up with water.

As I stand here, peering down my death,

I wonder if I ever meant anything to anyone.

Or why anyone even bothers with me.

I'm nothing, a useless space.

If only you knew, how much your approval mattered.

How much I wish I was the daughter you wanted.

I wonder if any of you knew,

How much I just wanted to fit in.

I give more love, trust, and faith to everyone but myself.

And I can't help it.

I've always felt like I was nothing.

Like I didn't belong on this Earth.

So why am I here?

Suffering and crying.

Dealing with hate, anger, and sadness.

I just want it to stop.

I want to feel good about myself for once.

To be happy more than an hour,

Without someone putting my back down.

I don't think anyone realizes,

How much one little comment

Can take me down in an instant.

Forgive me, as I get ready for this jump.

Because I can't do this anymore.

And if I back down from this doomed fate,

What will anyone do,

When I finally break down, and let everything out?

Will anyone care?

Will you still love me?

Will I finally be able to let go of years and years

Of pain and anger? I don't know.

But I'm too scared to end my life.

I can't do it. I wish I knew why.

Just make the pain stop. 

Make everything go away.

Please, it's all I ask.

Reviews

[fwvalidus]

The content of this is very solid. I like the ideas that you are writing about. I especially appreciate the twist at the end. I would love to see you expand on it a little bit more, perhaps include 2-3 more lines. You could also include a section in between the first 80% and last 20% that is a battle between jumping or not... an internal contest, a waging of wars between emotions. Fear to live on, fear to end it so abruptly with no second chance.

Furthermore, I challenge you to make the poem more crisp and clean so that it flows with purpose. I also would like to see each line invoke emotion and purpose of its own. I believe you can make this a deeper poem without extending the length of it. All in all it is good and definitely has further potential

[Becca]

thanks for the review. i dont know if anyone realized this while reading, but this was my almost suicide note from early today... i change my writing as my emotions change, and i dont tend to fix them afterward. but i will next time around