Somebody to die for

Hello,
Since this is my first story i write in my second language, please: Do Not ignore the errors!
Show me what i did wrong, tell me how i get better and what i did good. I want honest reviews and opinions, like; how could this scene sounded better, what can I correct here, there are grammatical errors, this chapter isn't very good because..., more descriptive sentences, more or less conversation, etc.
And at the beginning, the story should be a little confusing, since Stephen King said: “Good books don't give up all their secrets at once.”
So, I hope you enjoy this book.
Have a nice day!
-Becca