Dark matters

Dark matters

A Poem by Janna Ruusuvuori
"

Thoughts of dark matter, fractals and the space between: the nothing that is not nothing.

"
Reach into the place beyond
Where only nothing lies
Touch the edge of existence
Where borders cease
And the grid will crease

There the flock of nine crows
Seven is the blackbirds
Five vulture the dead
Three hawk the living
And one mothers the chaos

Here only blackthorns grow
Leafless and bare
And only the wolf can know
To find her there
Morgana waits in the dark
Calling the key from the ark

She will show space in time
Where lost souls long to rhyme
Beyond the obscure to the unknown
The esoteric, vague and dim
Enshrouding the light in a bleak moan

For the other side of hope
Is lacking.
And nothing is ever enough
In the nothing.

http://www.thegoddesstree.com/trees/Blackthorn.htm

for more dark matters...
http://nothingbutroses.wordpress.com/2014/09/05/dark-words/

© 2014 Janna Ruusuvuori


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Positive: The allusion to Morgana was awesome! I really liked the imagery of her singing and the symbolism, similar to if she was a siren or something. The birds were very interesting. Birds are usually messengers or jesters of God. To say the hawks of the living and vultures of the dead draws a little bit away from their intended meaning, but it was a good use nonetheless. I love the little "esoteric" stuff at the end. It was a little interpretive, but I think I understood your intended meaning. :D

Negative: Existence is spelled incorrectly. Anyways, I don't know of a poetic style that uses that particular meter. I'm not really a meter critic, but it might be a thing to consider in the future. Some words seemed not to fit, such as "Enshrouding the light in a bleak moan". The word enshrouding seemed like it was out of place. I like your style, but try to write a little bit less directly.

Posted 7 Years Ago


That was very good, very well written. Captivating and interesting. I will likely be reading more of your work when I get a chance.

Posted 7 Years Ago



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Added on September 24, 2014
Last Updated on September 27, 2014
Tags: fractals, matter, dark matter, physics, space, time, nothing, ark, energy, sound

Author

Janna Ruusuvuori
Janna Ruusuvuori

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A rose blood red with black thorns grow in a tower turning the hour; the waves flow as the tune follow the path of pan's pipes. The map is in pieces with many a creases, folding the love within; like .. more..

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