The Myth of Myrth

I found this cult online one day and decided to try and join it, so I concocted a poem to answer the questions... oddly enough, I never heard back from them... and yes, I am still quite insane

1.        What is your name? What is your quest? What is your favourite colour?
I hail from a land of naught
Belthizor be thy title, the unworthy taught
Thy Quest be known to many a fool
To confuse and to abide by the rule
Sanity is long lost, taken by the wind
It taketh thy life, along with thy mind
I am blind to the good of this world
Nevermore dost thy mind unfurl
Nevermore shalt I be free
I am a slave to insanity, a slave unto thee...
The shades of madness, come unto thyself
Black as the evils that plague the world of its health
And the vile purity of White
That so blesses fools with the ungainly sight

2. How did you hear about this cult? If you are investigating to prove the evils of my delusional mind to the world, please click here for a separate form.
The Fools of the South reveal
Naught of their findings as seductively surreal
The mind is an evil unto itself
Delusional in all forming wealth from health

3.        Why do you want to join?
My services could be of use
Though my mind hath not been set loose
Mad as I be, do not be deceived
The truths that lie herein can only be perceived
By the true of heart and the false of mind
The answers You seek are not hard to find

4.        Why should I let you join?
Talented though I am in many a Craft
An asset I can be in the Dark Art
I banish thyself out in eternal misery
Live out thy damnéd life, leave this vicinity

5.        What talents or other resources could you add to the cult?
Arcane knowledge I present to thy being, unholy
Rare and valuable I present a unique folly
My insecurities have led me to believe
My defileness causéd me to leave
I now seek refuge in thy cult
Hasten! Deter those who kill, close thy doors, with lock & bolt

6. Do you have any experience with crazy people, straight jackets, padded rooms, mind-altering drugs, nuclear artillery or world domination? If you don't, do you think you could learn? Do you want to learn? Is learning a bad thing because school was a bad influence on you? Am I asking too many questions for one point? Are you gonna get fed up and quit?
World Domination is what one ultimately seeks
For 14 years, a padded room deterred the meek
Am I Mad? Psychotic? Deranged? Crazy?
Or perhaps I am just sluggish and lazy
These questions will ultimately lead
To an answer upon which fools will feed

7.        If you were a dessert what would you be? If you were an alcoholic beverage, what would you be?
I have been deserted, by those
Who should care, by they who pose
As only the ignorant can be
Programmed to do so, why cannot they see?
This is not real, this is false and faux
Led astray by they who think they know
A martini on the rocks is as unto
An ice treat that is coloured blue

8.        Do you have any invisible friends?
My deities are my only kin
In them I confide my daily sins
They nurtured me from the start
And I know that we shall never part
A tribute of red nectar is what they demand
I cannot help but offer them, a taste from my hand

9.        Have you ever been to the moon?
No fool would ever leave
Or would they do so, to just tease?
This lunacy is our demesne
For why else would us fools remain?

10.        Do you have a sense of humour?
Is the glass half empty? Or is it half full?
I invoke the Lord of Idiocy, to make this call
If humour is the spice of life
Then what cuts through it like an unholy knife?

11.        Are you ambitious? Do you want to go up in life and eventually be a sub-leader of my sacred cult?
Why be bound to the constraints of law?
When order itself, is life's biggest flaw
I aim to invoke the insanity in all
Those who deem worthy aim to be tall

12.        Do you have any pets? You like cats, sheep, and llamas?
A familiar is in order when a practicing madman
A creature of the night is worthy, much like a Hunter Man

13.        Are you serious about this, or are you just filling this out for kicks?
Whosoever is serious in life deserves resistance
For seriousness is the very bane of existence
To be a fool is a pleasure of life
We are the causers of pests that run rife

14.        If you were to pass this little test, and become a member, what type of cult name would you like to go by?
I am known to few by my true name
I am more widely known as Belthizor the Insane

15.        Did you forget to study for this test? Did your dog eat your homework?
You call this a test? A test of my mind?
The canine is tied, as you too, I bind
Forever away from all that is wrong
Forever a Fool, I condemn you to become

16.        What are your hopes and dreams?
Didst thou forget to study for this test?
Did thy canine companion put your homework to rest?
I answered my aspirations, my ambitions, my goals
It is up to the fool off whom I shall take their sorry soul

17. Are you related to me, cuz if you are Jocey, then forget it! Is your name James Dixon, cuz if so, you're already in, but fill out the form anyway, cuz I command it!
I know not of who you are
I come from a distant land, I come from afar
I come from a place where right is left
And left is right, I am deprived of sense, I am bereft

18.        Do you believe that the Insane Jester Goddess of all that is Silly is the Supreme Psycho and Patroness of the Cult of Myrth?
You know nought of insanity
You know only of the evil of vanity
A Fool I am condemned to be
I pledge my allegiance to serve thee

19.        Summarize a short and amusing anecdote that you find particularly funny?
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it
I started out wit humour, and it hath turned into wit

20.        Do you like British humour, such as Monty Python, or Red Dwarf. Ever read the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy?
The Monty of Python and the Dwarf of Red
The Hitchhikers Guide I never hath read
Society believes they know comedy
Only Fools know what this humour be

21.        Do you like fantasy books, movies, or role playing chat rooms?
Fantasy and myth, is what brought me to be
'Tis the stuff of legends that defines me

22.        Are you Canadian? Do you like Canadians? Write how you feel about Canada, then write about another country of random choice.
The People of this world know not of their fate
Leave it to the Fools, condemned to relate
I tell tales of horrors not known to the sane
I tell truths that be not believed, so with me these tales remain

23. A chemist wants to make 50mL of a 16% acid solution by mixing a 13% acid solution and an 18% acid solution. How many millilitres of each solution should the chemist use?
A Chemist wishing to concoct a potion
Should be wary of this notion
Only an alchemist is versed
In the art of the potion that they rehearsed

24.        What colour underwear are you wearing?
A Jester most common is found
In outfits of colours not normally sound
I choose the colours of Darkness and Light
Nocturnal, I am at the peak of my height
These answers I present to thee oh Great Ones
Mayhap your decision, will be known, I must run
A reply so aptly spoken,
Will awake the re-awoken